Partners even more likely than survivors to experience fear and worry over long term, study finds
by eastwest on Fri May 25, 2012 08:42 PM
This week I've found myself feeling down and my loss hit me harder than it has in recent weeks. I guess I could say it was a rogue wave that hit me and I still haven't found my footing.
I decided to take myself to a baseball game on Wednesday. None of my friends are interested in baseball and the gkids have perfect attendence so I couldn't take them out of school for the afternoon.
Well, I felt so insecure and self conscious. I acknowledged that there were other people alone at the stadium. But no amount convinced me to feel better. I tried to concentrate on the game but it wasn't working well. I just felt so empty.
I should add that years ago before I was married I went to a ballgame by myself. Not great results that time as my car got broken into. Maybe I should have learned but I've been trying to do as many things on my own as possible so I don't go hide in the closet and never come out.
When the gkids heard I went they asked why. I told my gdaughter to be with people my own age. She asked if I spoke to anyone and I said no. She said then it wasn't wothwhile going. Wonder if that was out of the mouths of babes?
Today I made myself go to a park and walk 2 miles stop and look at the lake and egrets and climb the steps twice but I was crying as I did. Then I noticed a female cardinal with a broken wing hobbling and I couldn't do anything for her out in the woods except say a prayer. We were two wounded souls out there. Irene
by jaycc on Sat Jun 02, 2012 01:58 PM
I lost my husband in Sept. I have gone to the ballpark three times since. It was very hard the first time. Go back. I went last nite again and found one of several things I'm searching for. Life and positiveness. People are happy at the ballpark. There are no hidden agendas. Its full of life. Yes somone loses the game but they don't die over it, and they go on to the next game.
Keep trying it is very hard, talk to the people around you, generally everyone talks at the ballpark.
If you ever want to go to a Phillies game leave me a blog.
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