my mother, my friend

I lost my mother to liver cancer in June 2009.  She was diagnosed a month after my marriage, while  on her second honeymoon with my father.  They had to cut that short, then stayed with me during the next 21 months of grueling tests, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, endoscopies, and multiple hospitalizations for fevers, infections, pain.  It was a difficult fight, with lots of downs, but there were some brighter moments - we welcomed a new grandson - my mother was able to see and hold him, and we moved to a new home.  She is the strongest person I have ever met, and will probably ever meet.  She has been my guiding light throughout my life and will always be that voice in my head.  I do miss her hugs, her cheer, and her laughter.  She was the life of our family, a woman with boundless energy, boundless talent, and a never fail spirit.  It was not easy to see her diminished in such a way near the end, and she too found it impossible to recognize herself in the mirror. 

I weep for the struggles she went through in the end, for the life cut short, for all the things she still wanted to do but couldn't, for the gaping hole she has left in my life, and in my father's.  I am glad she is no longer suffering however.

She will always be missed.

<It was not easy to see her diminished in such a way near the end, and she too found it impossible to recognize herself in the mirror.  I weep for the struggles she went through in the end, for the life cut short, for all the things she still wanted to do but couldn't, for the gaping hole she has left in my life, and in my father's.  I am glad she is no longer suffering however.>

You could be talking about my mother here.  These are exactly my feelings.  I weep for my loss but I weep for hers more.  My mother died of pancreatic cancer in July.  It ravished her and took away her dignity.  She was such a strong fighter and lover of life, but towards the end she welcomed death with open arms.  I am left to go through her possessions and unfinished projects - a life interrupted.  I think I am coping well and resilient.  But the pain is always right there below the surface, easily triggered by something as simple as opening an email and identifying with a stranger who walks in my shoes.

Thank you for commiserating.  We do certainly share a common pain.  It just gets hard this time of year to not reflect on those last difficult days, and I just try to focus more on the happier times.   

Lots of hugs!!

The pain  in the hearts is teh hardest to heal, for the families !!

Lots of hugs!!

The pain  in the hearts is the hardest to heal, for the families !!

Losing a parent is very hard; I have lost both of mine.

When your heart is hurting the worse, remember the good times and thank God that your Mom is no longer suffering.

May God bring you peace and calm.

Prayers and blessings,

B

My mother died a few weeks after I was born so I have no shared memories, only the things missed without her in my entire life. However i think no matter what age we are when we lose our parent we become orphans. That inner child of ours still craves our parent. May the sweetest of memories be with you. Irene

Hello,

I know your pain at times is hard to comprehend. As father's day approaches, I can share in your feelings. My father died of brain cancer when I was in my 20s, many years ago It was I who took him to the doctor and who knew something was just not right for him. He never saw my children, never played with  them , never watched them play soccer and hockey. He could not be there to walk my sister down the aisle at her wedding.

Another fathers day will remind me of the importance of my dad in my life.  ON a happier note, He will be with me forever and still puts a smile on my face:0)

You , however have precious moments that you can hold close to your heart.   May you find peace in your journey and feel proud you are your mother's daughter. She has not left you and  she will be watching you on your own walk of life.

 May God bless and keep you all in his time.

Thinking of you, and of your dear Mom.  It's so hard, i know.

My Mom passed away 1/20/11 after 13 months of intesity with GBM (brain cancer).  In this past year, i have been consciously choosing to fill those gaping holes of loss with moments that honor who she was and all she taught me.  Her life was more, much more, than what her final months of suffering was about.  I realize some of her greatest lessons she taught me was in that "time" through cancer.  Yet, ohhhhh how very much she "showed" me with how she LIVED her life, before cancer. 

Missing Mom picks up intensity ... but how blessed are we to have grown right beneath her heart!

Sending some special love to your Mom, and all who love her dearly!!!

On Jun 07, 2012 2:15 PM circlesoflife wrote:

I lost my mother to liver cancer in June 2009.  She was diagnosed a month after my marriage, while  on her second honeymoon with my father.  They had to cut that short, then stayed with me during the next 21 months of grueling tests, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, endoscopies, and multiple hospitalizations for fevers, infections, pain.  It was a difficult fight, with lots of downs, but there were some brighter moments - we welcomed a new grandson - my mother was able to see and hold him, and we moved to a new home.  She is the strongest person I have ever met, and will probably ever meet.  She has been my guiding light throughout my life and will always be that voice in my head.  I do miss her hugs, her cheer, and her laughter.  She was the life of our family, a woman with boundless energy, boundless talent, and a never fail spirit.  It was not easy to see her diminished in such a way near the end, and she too found it impossible to recognize herself in the mirror. 

I weep for the struggles she went through in the end, for the life cut short, for all the things she still wanted to do but couldn't, for the gaping hole she has left in my life, and in my father's.  I am glad she is no longer suffering however.

She will always be missed.

As someone else said, you could be describing my mother, so full of life and the heart of our family.., I will forever remember her strength, bravery throughtout and maintianing her wit and sense of humor until the end.   September 21 it will be the two year anniversary of her passing.  The emptiness and pain has not diminshed and if anything is worse.  I miss her so much..