My Wife left me after Breast Cancer

Well I am new to this discussion forum.  Most people I know are sick of listeneing to me about my life's turn of events.  My wife and I had been together since we were extremely young.  We had been together for twelve years married for five and in love.  She was twenty eight years old when she was diagnosed with Stage one Breast Cancer.  She had a lumpectamy chemo/radiation.  It wasn't easy for either of us.  After everything I noticed a change in her personality, then one day I came home from work after an argument to find that he had left me.  She will not see me or speak to me just random texts bringing up past arguments or mistakes I had made years ago.  She says her eyes were opened from her experience and she is no longer in love with me.  She refuses couceling and demands that I take the action of filing for a dissolution.  I really don't know what to say... Anybody out there that can help a guy get his head around this...

 

Sincerely

Mr. Confused

All that I can say is that it does change you - I am a 5 year oesophageal cancer survivor and being diagnosed made me realise what is important - in my case I married my long term love and have a son and daughter with him now.  I am sorry that you are going through this.

 

 

Thanks for the response.

I understand that it can change people, but to walk away from everything you know.  Your home, pets, friends and family (my side) without a peep or anything is just extremely difficult for me to accept.  Even her family has reached out to me...I don't know if I should move on or fight to get her back..

I don't know the answers sorry - I would not give up on her but that is just me.

Thanks I appreciate it....

after 32years my wife left me also! Go find a good Christian Church,Pray, and let God take over! My motto: One day at a time! Also look up Joel Osteen, He has some great insight!   Sincerely:  Dan

Hi K,

Welcome to the forum, perhaps someone will have a clue for you.

I hate to hear about your wife having cancer.  Cancer does cause us to look at things in general from a different view.

So, your wife just up and left after and argument?!?!  Hmmmmmm, you need to think this through and try to contact her to help you understand.  Tell her you cannot file for divorce without first meeting with her and talking.

Prayers and blessings,

B         

Well not just a single fight but her new personality led to several squabbles. She wanted to go back to college but didn't do well. She wanted to go out and party but that didn't sit well with me. She started buying crazy expensive cloths and purses. I thought maybe a phase from what she had endured.. But never in a million years would I have thought this...thanks for the response I appreciate it..

I don't know if this may help or not, but I have breast cancer, and I am trying so hard to "think" my husband stilll loves me, it's a problem that I think us women either can or cannot deal with.

I had to have my right breast removed, and also I had a a huge tumor in my uterus, long story short, I was in surgery for several hours, and my request was to have my other breast removed as well, but the surgeon said at the time, it would've too much on my healing process, so, he said we'd  do that later.

But, I just can't help wonder if deep inside, my husband doesn't miss that part of me, he keeps telling me it doesn't matter, he just wants me to be well.

But, as a woman, breast cancer does change our way of thinking, and in the back of our minds we do think that we less of a woman to our husbands.

And, maybe, I don't know, maybe deep down inside your wife, she may have felt that she was less of a woman to you.

I know my husband still loves me after 28 yrs. of marriage, but, it has been very hard on me to be as I was before this breast cancer thing came into our lives

  But with the help of our Lord, I pray that maybe you two can sit down and open up to one another, always keep in mind, don't let this cancer thing take your lives away from one another, it is true what they say... "Cancer doesn't have you, You have cancer". So, keep that in mind, you and your wife need to have control of this cancer. 

I hope this may help somewhat, like I said, I am going thru it too, this is easier said than done, and I have to remind myself of what I just told you too from time to time.

Take Care, and Best of Luck to you both.