If I knew then.....

3 Posts | Page(s): 1 

If I knew then.....

by pineconepeg on Thu Jun 14, 2012 06:38 PM

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Two years ago my best friends husband died of esophogeal cancer.  My dad died of rectal cancer this year.  My mother in law is a breast cancer survivor.  My husband is currently fighting tonsil cancer.  As I suppose everyone sometimes does, I was thinking about what I could have done differently to support a loved one with cancer. 

 If I travel this path again I think one of the things I will do is throw the person a cancer shower.  Expenses frequently become an issue when fighting cancer, and friends often don't know what to do.  I would throw the person a party early on so they are not too sick to attend, but I would have the party even if they couldn't make it.  Either way I would video tape the party so the recipient could watch the DVD when they're blue and remember the time when everyone was gathered in their honor and was saying nice things about them.  

 I would suggest gifts such as gas cards, PJ's, robes and slippers, sheets, towels, gift certificates to home health companies and drugstores.  Home made gift certificates for running errands, driving them to appointments, lawn maintenance, house cleaning, and delivered meals.  I would have everyone wear the honorees favorite colors, play their favorite songs, and serve their favorite foods.

 We had planned to have a big birthday party for my dad, but he passed away before the day came.  It's too bad, because he loved a good party. 

RE: If I knew then.....

by humpdy on Thu Jun 14, 2012 07:24 PM

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I have been fighting bile duct cancer since Jan 2011.  That is in remission.  But now I have a couple spots on my lungs.  The Oncoligist still has treatment scheduled once a week.  He calls it "dormant", whatever that means.  More Catscans are scheduled in July. 

The whole family showed up for my 82'd birthday (17 people) .  I kidded them all that they showed up for my Wake.  So I accept the inevitable.  That six hour session once a week takes its toll.  But we keep on with what we can do.  I still work in the yard when I can and still do house repairs when needed.  The neighbors call me "that tough ol' bird". 

So, all I can say for those who have it, is keep moving to the best of your ability.  For the caretakers,  I hope you are as good as my wife.

Ralph

RE: If I knew then.....

by SueSmithely on Tue Jul 17, 2012 07:07 PM

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This is a wonderful message.  My husband is currently fighting colon cancer that has spread to his liver.  And, although I can't go back and do what you've suggested now I will certainly keep this in mind for others who are traveling this path anew.  I would also add that it has sparked some other ideas as well.  Thank you!

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