On Jun 23, 2012 6:05 PM kosakayama wrote:
hi. my dad has stage III of stomach cancer and he's in critical condition right now. he barely eats; it's usually like 3-4 teaspoons of his pureed meals. he's been restless lately and can't sleep at night because of the pain in his stomach, so what the doctors did was give him some morphine and sedatives so that he could sleep, but that's all they've been doing and nothing else. they don't feed him anymore and he doesn't stay awake for more than a few minutes because the medicine makes him fall into a deep sleep again. they say that it'd be fatal if they tried to take out the tumor in his stomach through surgery, and my mom tells me that he's too weak for chemotherapy because his immune system is weak and doesn't have enough good cells. i can tell he still has the fighting spirit and doesn't want to die yet, but his body's just so weak and i don't know what else to do. has anyone experienced this before or have met someone who's been through this but survived? i really want to help my dad get through this and i don't want to sit back and wait for him to die like everyone else.
As we get older we get to a point where we can accept the ineitable more readily but it is never easy when we are losing someone we love. No one knows for sure when the end is near - only God knows that - but the medical personnel have given you their assessment and your mother has accepted it. Make the most of the time you have with your father - whether it is one week, one month, or one year. Tell him you love him, share with him the happy times you remember of you two together. Say anything and everything that you would like to while you are able. People are known to fight death, not because they are not ready to go, but because their loved ones are not ready for them to go. I loved my mother more than my own life - and she struggled to stay alive for me. Once I told her it was okay to go, she took one final breath and left me. No one is letting your father die - they know his body is wore out and can't continue on indefinitely. I pray that God give you and your Dad peace in the days ahead.