by never-too-late on Sun Jun 24, 2012 04:01 AM
Today it has been 6 months since my soul mate and life passed away.....the hurt is so bad today that it feels like a heavy weight and I just cant stop thinking about the day my husband passed away. Dear God, does it ever get better? This is the only place I can come to where their is at least someone who understands how bad it hurts and how lost one feels.
by eastwest on Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:01 AM
Hi Never too late
At 14 months into this new normal I can tell you... it WILL feel different as time passes. I don't know if I would say better because our loved one will always be gone from this physical world. I ache to feel his touch and hear his voice and share the things we shared and the things we wanted to share.
Perhaps what I want to say is that the acceptance sinks in. That you learn to move forward without him/her or you don't. I've gone from a "lost puppy" at several months in to an "I am taking care of myself, and I can do this even if I am kicking and screaming at times."
I make myself exercise and eat properly. Yesterday morning after a 2 mile walk I took myself fishing. ALONE. Always Phil got the fish off the lines. I forgot pliers so of course I caught a fish. But luckily someone was just putting in with a boat and I borrowed their pliers and released the fish back. I can tell you it made my day. And i think that from somewhere Phil was proud i did this for myself.
Feel the horrible pain, but know that it does ease is some ways. Hugs Irene
by never-too-late on Mon Jun 25, 2012 03:13 AM
Thank you Irene....I can tell by the way you write and express your feelings that you and Phil were truly truly in love the same as George and I....please keep in touch, its nice to know that I am not the only one out here that feels as if life has no meaning....and yes I know that small steps have to be made to move forward....it just feels as if there is no purpose in any of it any more without George in my life....
by jaycc on Thu Jun 28, 2012 03:50 AM
Never too late,
6 months is a hard spot, I'll quote another woman who I respect. It will always be different but after the first year it is not so raw of a pain.
You are not alone, keep talking, no need to put on airs on this site. As stated just try to keep moving forward, a little bit at a time, don't be too hard on yourself.
At this time I look at the journey as being married to my love in heaven. Very different then what we had planned, but we will keep taking the journey together, in our own special way.
by never-too-late on Fri Jun 29, 2012 04:52 AM
Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I agree what we envision as our lives to be can take a terrible and ugly twist..I pray to Jesus every day and sometimes every minute to keep me sane and give me strength.
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