Ryan,
Sorry to read your news. As you've seen by now, folks respond differently to treatments, and by the nature of cancer and how we approach it, treatments can vary. It may be worth visiting a second cancer center/doctor to get another opinion, if for no other reason than to feel better about your choice.
Like Ken, I had a stage IV tonsil tumor with spreading to the right lymph nodes. I had to have the now-usual 35 radiation plus 3 chemo treatments. That was 3 years ago, and so far, all is clear. I was mentoring a woman of 66 years who had a similar diagnosis, although I do not know the stage. She elected to have surgery followed by radiation but no chemo. They did a PET scan at 90 days and it was clear (that seems early to me, but I am NOT a doctor.....). At any rate, again, different ways to go on this.
PEG tube: I am a HUGE fan of these! I would have died without mine. In the end, I hated to give it up, b/c I had learned to use it while riding in a vehicle even on a bumpy road, in airports, etc. It was so easy once I adjusted. I used a medical formula (I'm not a big fan of the high sugar content in OTC offerings like Boost/Ensure, but many folks have used them successfully). It's an easy procedure, to have a PEG (also called GI) tube installed. I even had mine replaced b/c I kept it for 15 months, and I wore out the first one. I was able to begin eating after about 4 months, but it was so gradual that the tube, again, saved my buns. I agree with the comment that's it'd be better to have it and not need it, vs. needing it later. By the time I needed it, I was so weak and sick....... I wish my doctors had not waited. But I think they do so to avoid another procedure if possible.
Not to overburden you, but this is a game-changer. So do some reading, thinking, talking, etc. Your life will be different afterwards - but in many ways, for the better. I continue to struggle with various bits of "collateral damage", but, with the support of lots of friends and my fiance, I have come to appreciate life in a different way. Although eating/swallowing is not the same, and may never be, and the neuropathy (from the chemo) is a bit annoying, I am back to many of my old habits, which includes a lot of traveling, working out in the woods and fields for days, away from home, playing my guitars, etc. But, I do these things with a different point of view, and I must say, although I wasn't looking for a "new me" and resisted the first year, I'm now rather impressed by it all.
Biggest mistake? Besides not getting that GI tube right away..... it was not using the services of the Center, especially the support group. I'm now in it, but I did not begin going until I was into my 3rd year post treatment. I wish I had started right away, and also gone to some of the prep classes. That was a real "bury my head in the sand" approach I took, which I now regret. So I agree with the suggestions: get some support. A little goes a long way.
And while it may sound cliche, find something that gives you strength, and use it. I study birds, and I love to watch them. They give me joy and hope like nothing else. So I set myself up by the kitchen double window, with lots of bird feeders outside. I sat in that chair nearly full time for almost a year. I had my laptop nearby, but for much of my time, I would just stare out that big window, and watch the many birds that would come and go, all day long. Seeing them so alive kept me going, somehow. I kept a bunch of CD's and a portable player with headphones nearby too. That way I could listen at any time, without bothering Kathy, and I really liked the feeling/sound of the headphones.
And some final good words: my salivary glands returned to about 2/3 functional. As one noted, the new technology is really pretty good for minimizing the collateral damages. The taste buds do return, it just takes time. I've always been a food label reader and hobbiest-nutrionist and cook, but this forced me to REALLY pay attention, and that has been really cool. I've learned even more, and Kathy and I enjoy a different suite of foods and recipes. So, maybe another cliche, but this whole thing brought us to doing some good things that we may not have done otherwise, and in a very enjoyable way.
I hope your scans bring you good news, and you have or find the emotional support to get you through this. And, as already mentioned, glad you found this site when you did; it's a great resource.
John