Alone

Does anyone feel the same as me? I have a fantastic wife who supports me 100% through all of this but i just feel i need to talk to someone who is going through what i am. There must be someone out there like me who has been diagnosed but still feels fine. I cant explain it but its how i feel.

I keep reading about people who have a grasp of their situation and talk to others and just have feed back, but what about those who are just confused and need to feel, i dont know, not the only one i suppose.

I hope i dont cause any offence to anyone by my post and i hope everyone the best.

Mike

Hi Mike,

I am sorry you are having to go through this cancer thing and feel so alone. 

I was diagnosed with RCC, Stage IV with mets to both lungs in 2007.  For me, it was the 'unknown'...how much longer do I have...one question right after the other; but I did not get a lot of answers from my oncologist.  I finally found this forum and I did not post, but I read everything that was posted and I got some really good information and I also got some inspiration from it.

Don't be afraid to ask questions; someone with your problem will try to help you.

Don't put yourself in a shell; let yourself be heard and share your views with others.  I think there are support groups for each cancer.

Do you and your wife go to church and mingle with others?  It is important to get out as much as you can.

Keep a positive attitude...have hope and faith for a brighter future for you and your lovely wife.

Prayers and blessings,

B

Hi Mike:

I think everyone feels the same as you.  This is not only hugely hard to grasp, it's completely unexpected.  We're never the ones that win lotteries, Oscars and Stanley Cups.  We're also never the ones who are killed in tsunamis, 50-car pile-ups or hit by lightning.  Why cancer?  Why such a rare cancer too?

This has happened to my teenage son and my husband and I have been racing for close to 2 months to learn everything we can.  What we have learned is that there is so much that nobody knows.  We are trying very hard to isolate what we can know.  If it's any help, along with trying to learn and make informed decisions, we're trying hard to stay in touch with our gut instincts. 

Consider this -

Not being a medical expert allows us to colour outside the lines.  Ask questions and think directions they don't go. Maybe one direction will be inspirational for those with the skill to treat and perhaps cure.  At the same time, we are the world's leading experts on our son.  More than anyone, we have his very best interests first.

This is what I'd advise for you.  Stay cool, learn as much as you can, NEVER hold back on asking questions - don't forget, you're the customer - and always put your best interests first.  This is about you, your wife and your family.

I send you my very best wishes.  Please pray for us.  I will pray for you.

Hi mike My name is pat and I do understand I am celebrating 7 years now and sometimes I have been very empty or maybe it is alone. I do take lexapro as a happy pill and it takes the heavy feeling off my back. No one knows until they walk in your shoes. I am able to talk anytime you want. Blessings to you pat

Thanks Pat,

When you say 7 years do you mean without seizure? Sometimes i wish it was all over, i dont mean ending it all, i just think the waiting for whats going to happen next can be the worst. I also take a happy pill so it does take the edge off the worry but its the headaches i worry about. Every time i get them i think isthis another brain bleed or worse? Anyway thanks for replying to me, im sure things will settle down eventually and i can move on.

Mike