my husband changed...

4 Posts | Page(s): 1 

my husband changed...

by petdearly on Fri Aug 24, 2012 09:08 AM

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hello everyone...my husband is diagnose with rectal cancer in May. He is only 31 years old. We were married last year in May and i know him for about 4 years. He has gone thru radiotheraphy and chemo for 5 weeks in July/Aug which just finished recently.

I have been reading about caregivers depression and frustration about caring a cancer patient. i am now in that stage...too sad. i took care for him during his treatment and now he decided to go back to his hometown to live with his own family which is not educated enough to understand this disease. None of the family member make any effort to learn about his medication, food, pain management and so on.

everything relies on him...but my worry is when there's emergency like he will sometimes have trouble breathing when he's sleeping. he halucinates when he's taking his sleeping pills..and he even twice fall down because of that.

For info, me and my husband is in long distance relationship. Therefore, i only actually live with him for 3 months, after he was diagnosed. I am checking on him now & then..but it seems that he hates it...whereas..when he is with me for the past 3 months..he always wants to do everything with me...

i am sad that i am only married for a year..and i never live with him..suddenly he was sick then decided to live with me because the treatment he choose is at my place..then after the treatment he decided to go back to his own place--which is his hometown. am not able to see he recruperating, be there for him when he needs me....

maybe it's just a stupid story but it really make me sad. i am now working again..but i cant concentrate thinking of him..i am not able to go there often because it's 2500km away from my place and i dont have the money to go and forth just to see him. the plane ticket is very expensive.

he still have another surgery to remove the tumour but he refuses to come back to my place..it's really disappointing.

it's just a 2 cents of my story....

RE: my husband changed...

by Katherine2011 on Thu Aug 30, 2012 08:18 PM

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I'm certain you did the best you could when offering your loving and undivided support. Sometimes, even when we give our best, things still change. As hard as it may seen, the best thing may be, is to continue moving forward. Life is very short. God Bless.

RE: my husband changed...

by sarah06779 on Wed Dec 19, 2012 03:18 AM

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I think that you're very courageous to take such excellent care for your husband. It must be very difficult to lose him to his family. You sound like a wonderful person, abiding by his wishes regardless of how it hurts you.

God bless. I wish you the best.

 

Carolynbmaes Carolynbmaes
(Inactive)

RE: my husband changed...

by Carolynbmaes on Tue Feb 12, 2013 11:00 PM

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On Aug 24, 2012 9:08 AM petdearly wrote:

hello everyone...my husband is diagnose with rectal cancer in May. He is only 31 years old. We were married last year in May and i know him for about 4 years. He has gone thru radiotheraphy and chemo for 5 weeks in July/Aug which just finished recently.

I have been reading about caregivers depression and frustration about caring a cancer patient. i am now in that stage...too sad. i took care for him during his treatment and now he decided to go back to his hometown to live with his own family which is not educated enough to understand this disease. None of the family member make any effort to learn about his medication, food, pain management and so on.

everything relies on him...but my worry is when there's emergency like he will sometimes have trouble breathing when he's sleeping. he halucinates when he's taking his sleeping pills..and he even twice fall down because of that.

For info, me and my husband is in long distance relationship. Therefore, i only actually live with him for 3 months, after he was diagnosed. I am checking on him now & then..but it seems that he hates it...whereas..when he is with me for the past 3 months..he always wants to do everything with me...

i am sad that i am only married for a year..and i never live with him..suddenly he was sick then decided to live with me because the treatment he choose is at my place..then after the treatment he decided to go back to his own place--which is his hometown. am not able to see he recruperating, be there for him when he needs me....

maybe it's just a stupid story but it really make me sad. i am now working again..but i cant concentrate thinking of him..i am not able to go there often because it's 2500km away from my place and i dont have the money to go and forth just to see him. the plane ticket is very expensive.

he still have another surgery to remove the tumour but he refuses to come back to my place..it's really disappointing.

it's just a 2 cents of my story....

dont beat yourself up. when my husband was told 4 years ago he has a rare incurable blood cancer he became someone different. i no longer was a wife but a caregiver. i am told a cancer patient is worse on them mentally then physically. he cannot see pass his cancer so my needs are shelved. i am tired and depressed and he still will ask me why????? he saids he is the one with cancer not me.........it is not his fault again he cannot see pass his cancer to see how much of caregiving i give to him. i just pray The Lord will give me grace to endure this journey. In Christ, Carolyn
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