I had chemo for 4 months and almost died twice. I had to finish with radiation because I couldn't do anymore chemo. I had low grade B cell follicular Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I wasn't treated for it because it is chronic and only needs treatment if it mutates into a more aggressive cancer. Almost 3 yrs. ago I had a tumor behind my ear. They took it and the salivary gland. It was Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The doctor said it was treatable and curable. The radiation from the tip of my nose to the middle of my chest on all 4 sides was horrific. My mouth was a disaster. I could hardly swallow. I had no taste. I was in a black hole of depression for 2 months when my Oncologist sent me to Psychiatry. They spent several months trying to get the right mix of medications to balance the chemicals in my brain. It took a long time for me to be able to have any good thoughts. Everything was black and scary and dooming. I little by little started to improve. I still haven't gotten all of my positive emotions back. I don't have excitement or anticipation. I am still a little flat and not as interested in things as I was. We were going to try to wean me from some of the meds. Then I heard that my NHL had mutated into an aggressive form and I will be having chemo again. Follicular, no matter what grade is incurable. I was Stage 4 when first diagnosed. I take Celexa, Well Butrin, Chlorazepam and Lamotrigine. I don't know if I will be able to survive another round of chemo. If I do, I can expect it to come back. If I can't take a third round, I will just get sicker and sicker until I die. 2 new drugs out for my type of cancer are very promising. I don't qualify because my bone marrow is damaged and my WBC count is below normal. I don't qualify for bone marrow or stem cell transplants. I am exercising and eating a very healthy diet. I have a very strong faith and with it I am happy and enjoying life. Without my faith, I would be a basket case. "They" say I have 2-3 yrs. I look to God for my future.
Get psychiatric help for your husband. This is a normal reaction to chemo and radiation. The sooner he gets seen and starts working on the right mix of medicines, the sooner he will start to climb out of the dark pit.
I have residual brain problems. I have a terrible memory, I get confused a lot and I get overwhelmed when there is a lot going on around me. I seek out a quiet place to sit and calm myself. I have trouble pronouncing words and spelling can be very difficult. I have frozen jaws and I have a hard time eating things. My mouth is extremely sensitive so there are many things I cannot eat. I have permanent damage to my spinal cord (in my neck) and the bones. I have a hard time getting into the perfect position for my neck to be comfortable. I am still here and fighting. Prayers work miracles. My church and churches of my friends around the world are praying for me. I think I am probably prayed for more then anyone else. We are going to nag Him until He says, "all right already, I'll cure her!".
May God bless you and yours!
Love, >^..^< Kitty in WA >^..^<
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