no, not again

One month after getting married my husband started to have symptoms that we would later learn were caused by Hodgkin lymphoma. He stayed possitive through treatment and just kept making me fall more in love with him every day. We made it through and he had one nice clear scan. But last week we learned it is back. And tonight when I tried once again to let him know I'm here for him if he wants to talk he told me he doesn't have it in him to go through treatment again. The doctors have told us both how treatable his cancer is and I don't want to lose him. I feel so alone, my friends and I aren't so close anymore because I didn't have time for them between work and being his caregiver the first time around, my family isn't very close and now he has left me all alone while he goes to his friends house to talk with them, while he won't talk to me. Everytime I try to make a new friend he finds some reason to hate them. Also I just visited my grandfather for what will probably be the last time (he is dying of lung cancer) this morning and last night found out my little sister who ran away 3 years ago was pregnant last time anyone saw her. This has all been too much to handle and I just don't know what to do. I'm sorry if my thoughts are jumbled and I sound very selfish, I know these things aren't happening to me, but they are happening to people I love and it is completely out of my control.

And tonight I found out he is cheating... I'm only 23 I can't handle all of this. I need input on how to pick up these pieces. How do I take care of him after this? This cancer has consumed more then his health, it's taking over the whole relationship.

Dear Jemoody,

This is no doubt a tremendous amount of stress and pressure for one human being to handle all alone. Perhaps, it would be helpful to find someone you can confide in. Nevertheless, the best way to deal with all this, is to tackle one thing at a time. Lessen your load little by little.

In the last three months, I've been living in another state with my daughter, while she receives chemotherapy. Back home, my companion of 16 years, has been behaving very badly. I don't even enjoy talking to him on the phone anymore because he's so distant and indifferent. This didn't suddenly happen when cancer entered our lives. Thinking back the relationship had been falling apart and distance became the perfect opportunity for him to escape. In the end, what's important is my daughter's right to life, and my right ti life. My right to lead a decent, respectful, and loving existence. Life is short my dear. Don't waste it on people/things that don't contribute to our happiness, or our relationship with God.

Sincerely,

Katherine

Thank you Kathrine for youradvise and sharing your story. I have found a friend to help me through this, and have found helping her with her problems equally therapeutic(her husband is deployed). I think you are spot on with your tackle one thing at a time advise. It does make things more manageable. I wish you all of the best, and pray for your daughters recovery.

Thank you Jemoody. Wishing you the very best on your journey as well. Pack lightly and only what YOU need.

God Bless,

Katherine:)