Feel lonely and scare.

I was depress one night when I curse myself and wish I have cancer. Yes, it's sound stupid but I was depress. One day doctor told me I have cancer. I didn't care back them until two week ago. My boys who are in Florida wanted to know about it and I didn't know what to say because I didn't know nothing about it. Now I'm learning more about it and I have symptoms from cml. Everyday is pain on my back and my legs, especialy my right hip and I get tired alot and shorted of breath. The only family that I have in NY is my half sisters and my boyfriend but I feel like they don't understand what I'm going throw even when I told them about it and what side effect I'm having but they expect to much from me. I'm not very good in telling my story, but I need to learn more about this and help myself. I do go to hematology every month, but I don't know what kind of questions should I ask my doctor.  Well my friends thank you for been here in cancer compass.

Hello,  I'm sorry you have CML.  Make sure it's not CMML (two M's).  If it is CML, then if you have to have a blood disorder, it's one of the ones that can be treated with medication (Gleevac) and you can live a full life.  It is scary if you're alone.  You should try to join a group at a Cancer Center.  They are very helpful and many of the patients know a lot. There are many resources out there - you just have to look.  Go on the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society Website. Contact your local hospital.   Also, make a list of things you want to ask the doc before you go so you don't forget to ask - and write down the answers.  May God bless you in your journey, Clarita.