One Month

Tomorrow it will be one month without my Roger. I miss him so much. I went back to work last week, and I am trying my best to stay strong for our children and grandchildren. But, when I'm by myself I can't do anything but cry. And I don't like to be around people, because they make me cry, especially our Grandaughter who is almost 3. She kisses pictures of her Grandpa and tells him she is coming to his happy place to see him. She was his sunshine. I don't sleep at all, I can't stop thinking. Roger was always a happy person, never worried about anything, the week before he left us, he said 'this ain't nothing but a brain tumor don't you worry". Sorry, I know this makes absoloutley no sense, but I have to get stuff off my mind..and I can type better than I can blubber to friends and family. Prayer to all of you, Judy

Judy,

I understand exactly how you feel. I lost my husband on Sept 17th and I cry everyday. I miss him so much. I would  open the blinds in the bedroom and I would  say"  It's a sunny day today Sweetheart."  I still do it even though he is not there.

I talk to him everyday. We were married 46years. I understand what you are going through. My son and I took care of my husband for 7 months at home. It's take time to heal. It will be OK.

Blessings, Rose

On Sep 30, 2012 3:31 PM rmwhope wrote:

Judy,

I understand exactly how you feel. I lost my husband on Sept 17th and I cry everyday. I miss him so much. I would  open the blinds in the bedroom and I would  say"  It's a sunny day today Sweetheart."  I still do it even though he is not there.

I talk to him everyday. We were married 46years. I understand what you are going through. My son and I took care of my husband for 7 months at home. It's take time to heal. It will be OK.

Blessings, Rose

 

  

Rose,

I am very sorry for your loss. I took care of my Rog too.I still talk to him, I tell him everyday what  the plan is. We only had 3 months since the day that he was dx. Yesterday was the 1st day that I didn't cry. I talked to him all day, I know he heard me and that was enough. There's a big empty space  ( I know you know what I mean). I found a note that he wrote to me on our 33rd anniversary telling me that on our 50th that we would be sitting on our porch swing holding hands, living on love. I love that man so much. Sounds like you do too. God is Good! And my prayers are with you. Just believe and you will find peace.

Judy  I am so sorry for the loss of your Roger.

I found it hard to function and focus those first few months. Heck a yr and a half it is still hard at times. You don't have to make sense. We understand here.  Irene

Judy,

Yes, the little notes and cards. I want to look at all of them but it is too painful. I look at his clothes and I can see him in them.

I have that sick feeling and it is so hard to put the ordeal of him being sick out of my head. But I guess with time, it will get better. It just takes a lot of time....I will look back in time and remember something that will make me cry and re-live the whole thing again. Thank you for your support.

Thank you for your prayers.   Rose

Judy,

It is a pain like no other, and I'm so sorry you have to go through it. I'm just 1 year since my husband died. The first month was very hard. The thinking over and over again of the cancer days does seem like something many of us go through. Cry when you have to cry, and try to find something to relieve the stress and pain, any way you can.

Thank you for sharing his words. 

I found myself repeating often the medical steps of his last 2 months. It does get less frequent as the months start to move along. I did call his GP one tough morning and asked him several questions, that I just needed to put to rest. That helped me some.

Hugs to you across the virtual line, and hoping you can get a little bit of rest.

I lost my Mark on Sept 17th (my birthday) and one day after his 50th birthday. I can't even imagine going back to work, I try to keep my mind occupied and stay busy.  I have a neighbor that has become my best friend.  She stays with me from daylight until dark so I won't be alone.  I can feel myself getting stronger.  He beat pancreatic cancer for 6 years but then was diagnosed with Lung cancer 3 months ago.  He was diagnoised with pc 2 months after we were engaged, spent 6 years trying to get better so we could get married.  We went ahead and got married on the back deck on Aug 23rd, he made it 3 weeks after that. 

Hi Judy,

My dad sounds like your Roger:)  He told us "don't come see me @ the cemetary. I won't be there":)  He died from copd.  I have been fighting c.cancer since 10/10.  The best gift the happy ones we have lost is a smile:) We cant think about them w..out smilg up @ them in heaven, that's the precious gift they gave us:)  You do make sense.......... Prayers always:)