New here, just venting a little. :-/

I guess i just dnt know what im suppose do to... my boyfriend left this morning for brain tumor surgery on tuesday. I wasnt able to go with him due to my kids, work and finances. Hes been thru it before and tries to keep a strong face for everyone like its no big deal, but its killing me. I keep jumping into different scenarios and asking all them "what if" questions... I feel like i cnt breathe, like am gna just breakdown. Im trying so hard to stay positive and have faith that everything is gna be fine but its so hard to do when theres so many things that could go wrong. I cnt lay here without thinking he might not come back to me... and its the worst feeling iv ever had. :( :( 

On Nov 12, 2012 4:50 AM Sarah4920 wrote:

I guess i just dnt know what im suppose do to... my boyfriend left this morning for brain tumor surgery on tuesday. I wasnt able to go with him due to my kids, work and finances. Hes been thru it before and tries to keep a strong face for everyone like its no big deal, but its killing me. I keep jumping into different scenarios and asking all them "what if" questions... I feel like i cnt breathe, like am gna just breakdown. Im trying so hard to stay positive and have faith that everything is gna be fine but its so hard to do when theres so many things that could go wrong. I cnt lay here without thinking he might not come back to me... and its the worst feeling iv ever had. :( :( 

Dear Sarah:

It's good to vent!  Us Caregivers need to do that, this is a very hard journey and for me the most difficult thing I have had to do.  My husband I'm sure is much older than your Boyfriend, we have been together over 20 years now. I have been down this same road as you have and as his mood changes which often happens I feel on overload.  Staying positive is not only good for you but for him in his healing process.  So vent often and take care of yourself.  I'm praying for him please let us know how his surgery went.  Know that your not alone in this fight we do understand and most of us have been in your shoes

Diane

On Nov 12, 2012 4:50 AM Sarah4920 wrote:

I guess i just dnt know what im suppose do to... my boyfriend left this morning for brain tumor surgery on tuesday. I wasnt able to go with him due to my kids, work and finances. Hes been thru it before and tries to keep a strong face for everyone like its no big deal, but its killing me. I keep jumping into different scenarios and asking all them "what if" questions... I feel like i cnt breathe, like am gna just breakdown. Im trying so hard to stay positive and have faith that everything is gna be fine but its so hard to do when theres so many things that could go wrong. I cnt lay here without thinking he might not come back to me... and its the worst feeling iv ever had. :( :( 

its a rough time thats for sure! im guessin this is "caspers" sarah? if so, then his attitude will get him real far... he has been an inspiration to me and my son. he is sooo lucky to have somebody like u by his side. its definitely hard not to think about the things that can go wrong, its what us caregivers do... worry, atleast thats what i do best. i know this last bout of trouble we had with matthew, it felt like i was holding my breath for 2 months. keep ya head up, breathe, and get ready for him to come home... he will be back b4 u know it. and please keep in touch through fb or hopefully u or jered have my number, if not let me know and ill pm it to u. i work nightshift so i may not answer during the day but i will be lookin for yall tomorrow

matt

Craniotomies are relatively bloodless and about the safest surgery you can have. I have had three thus far and never had an issue.

Hux....

I know how you feel.  My husband and I have only know each other for 3 years.  We have only been married since June.  We were planning to go to Hawaii in April.  this all seems to be happening so fast.  I am trying everything that I know how.  I have always tried to make the healthy green smoothies and fruit smoothies. He wants to try Scorpion Venom! To watch such a healthy man go thru this is killing me. I am trying to be strong probably too strong and being too pushy with the vitamins and proteins and energy drinks. I don't know what else to do.  All of the doctors appts. are maddening!!!! Especially when you drive 2 hrs. to and then wait in waiting room for another 1.5 hrs and fill out more forms only for the doctor to look at the chart and say o.k. you're doing fine see you in 2 weeks!  THIS COULD HAVE BEEN TOLD TO US ON THE PHONE!!!! We already see a chemo doc. a radiation doc. a heart doc a kidney doc. his family doc. and now physical therapy throw in there my psychiatrists and its 6 days a week.  And I am late most days for work!!!! HELP US PLEASE!  We don't need un-necessary doctors appts. 

Im sorry Just venting as well

Im so thankful for this site