Yes I totally understand...I was in that very same place this past March 2012. I feel everyone's pain, their fear, their denial, and their grief & losses.....I have been there too most recently. I lost my dad this October after a valiant battle, and part of me went with him, as I have fought so hard with him.
I posted what I did...because time does not wait in case of this horrific disease, and you have to search out the "correct" information for the specific type and location of PC....If you do not have the correct info, you do get false hopes, you do get mis information, you ask the wrong questions search in the wrong places, and the vicious circle continues....I spent countless hours, days, weeks, months and different means researching, and I never gave up hope. I wrote tons of emails, made lots of phone calls and spoke to the people that had the right information, and could steer me in the right direction....It was frustrating, exhausting, and yes I did become, short of an expert in the medical field,...I came pretty close! I was so optomistic of finding the best for my dad, my best friend. I didn't come easy though, and it is not.
I had to ask for my dad's scans and detailed explanation from the reports to know what my dad exactly had and where it was, so I could converse with his Dr's, continue researching possible treatments, emailing specialists and sending his scans & biopsy reports to other specialists for their opinion for candidacy & possible treatment options.
So yes, I realize people come to websites such as this one for support and information, and you can spend countless hours on it looking for that source...but time is precious, and if you want to be your loved one's advocate you have to be in the "know" and act quickly, as your loved one can't be.
I have lots of compassion for those that fight this beast and the families...You can be a support system, or an advocate, and both...some people can do the advocacy & research work, and some can't. I happen to be a warrior with a cause and a purpose, as my dad was...he never gave up hope either and fought as long as he could with me right beside him rallying the troops, so he could make his own "well informed" decisions...Because there will be a time, when the person cannot or does not understand what is proposed or is simply is in fear and/or denial.
This is a mysterious disease, and I have several firends that have lost their loved ones to it, and all have been different locations, progression etc...they all found out late in diagnosis, as most do. We need lots of $$$, Govt support, strong advocates, awareness campaigns, to detect this disease early on and find a cure...That we all can agree on.
I wish your mom, and family my best wishes and regards and to all those that know this pain...May strength and hope be with you.
Tracy