I kept my promise....

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I kept my promise....

by karynk on Mon Nov 19, 2012 01:51 PM

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My CC friends...

On Saturday afternoon I was able to keep a promise that I made to Tom years ago.  Since Tom had his BT when we met, I promised him that I would be there to help him win this battle.  I fought to the bitter end, so there was no pain, no seizures, nothing but LOVE!  And that is what he had as he took his last breath in my arms, me telling him that I will always love him, Peter Gabriel singing us a beautiful song in the background.  If death can be beautiful, that is what Tom's was.  I woke up on Sunday with a smile on my face!  I don't know how I ever found the strength to get him there, but I kept my promise!

11 years 4 months is the length of his battle.  At the age of 42, he jumped back on his Harley and took off, sun on his face, wind in his hair, laughing and smiling as only he could.

We will celebrate his life, the life of a man that laughed in the face of his brain tumors, in a week.  I then plan on finding that island and taking a little me time.  I will check in though.  I have found that Tom's journey needs to be shared!  In this strange land of BTs, there simply is not enough support for those with Grade 2 & 3 tumors - and that needs to change! 

For all of the support from you, my friends....for all of the laughs and understanding, thank you.  For my "crew" that recently went through this, or are almost there.  I am here!  I think that we go through so much of the grieving process during the final months of this illness, so I am currently on anger and bitterness.  But inbetween, I smile and laugh - yes, I probably look crazy already :)

For my fellow caregivers, embrace your warrior's strength and fight....someday you will have to be the one fighting.

Do not be sorry for my lose....I am not.  I had 9 wonderful years with Tom.  It's different for me, since I made the decision to take this journey with him.  To be able to live everyday to the fullest.  To never know what tomorrow will bring.  To love unconditionally.  To always know that our time was limited.

-Karyn

RE: I kept my promise....

by NINA78 on Mon Nov 19, 2012 05:25 PM

Quote | Reply

On Nov 19, 2012 1:51 PM karynk wrote:

My CC friends...

On Saturday afternoon I was able to keep a promise that I made to Tom years ago.  Since Tom had his BT when we met, I promised him that I would be there to help him win this battle.  I fought to the bitter end, so there was no pain, no seizures, nothing but LOVE!  And that is what he had as he took his last breath in my arms, me telling him that I will always love him, Peter Gabriel singing us a beautiful song in the background.  If death can be beautiful, that is what Tom's was.  I woke up on Sunday with a smile on my face!  I don't know how I ever found the strength to get him there, but I kept my promise!

11 years 4 months is the length of his battle.  At the age of 42, he jumped back on his Harley and took off, sun on his face, wind in his hair, laughing and smiling as only he could.

We will celebrate his life, the life of a man that laughed in the face of his brain tumors, in a week.  I then plan on finding that island and taking a little me time.  I will check in though.  I have found that Tom's journey needs to be shared!  In this strange land of BTs, there simply is not enough support for those with Grade 2 & 3 tumors - and that needs to change! 

For all of the support from you, my friends....for all of the laughs and understanding, thank you.  For my "crew" that recently went through this, or are almost there.  I am here!  I think that we go through so much of the grieving process during the final months of this illness, so I am currently on anger and bitterness.  But inbetween, I smile and laugh - yes, I probably look crazy already :)

For my fellow caregivers, embrace your warrior's strength and fight....someday you will have to be the one fighting.

Do not be sorry for my lose....I am not.  I had 9 wonderful years with Tom.  It's different for me, since I made the decision to take this journey with him.  To be able to live everyday to the fullest.  To never know what tomorrow will bring.  To love unconditionally.  To always know that our time was limited.

-Karyn

Karyn,

Thank you for letting us know and thank you for sharing it. 

RE: I kept my promise....

by tromda on Mon Nov 19, 2012 06:22 PM

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Karyn  - you are an amazing woman and there must have been a greater power in play that made sure Tom had you with him. 

I am so happy that he passed peacefully.

RE: I kept my promise....

by Randy1958 on Mon Nov 19, 2012 06:37 PM

Quote | Reply

On Nov 19, 2012 1:51 PM karynk wrote:

My CC friends...

On Saturday afternoon I was able to keep a promise that I made to Tom years ago.  Since Tom had his BT when we met, I promised him that I would be there to help him win this battle.  I fought to the bitter end, so there was no pain, no seizures, nothing but LOVE!  And that is what he had as he took his last breath in my arms, me telling him that I will always love him, Peter Gabriel singing us a beautiful song in the background.  If death can be beautiful, that is what Tom's was.  I woke up on Sunday with a smile on my face!  I don't know how I ever found the strength to get him there, but I kept my promise!

11 years 4 months is the length of his battle.  At the age of 42, he jumped back on his Harley and took off, sun on his face, wind in his hair, laughing and smiling as only he could.

We will celebrate his life, the life of a man that laughed in the face of his brain tumors, in a week.  I then plan on finding that island and taking a little me time.  I will check in though.  I have found that Tom's journey needs to be shared!  In this strange land of BTs, there simply is not enough support for those with Grade 2 & 3 tumors - and that needs to change! 

For all of the support from you, my friends....for all of the laughs and understanding, thank you.  For my "crew" that recently went through this, or are almost there.  I am here!  I think that we go through so much of the grieving process during the final months of this illness, so I am currently on anger and bitterness.  But inbetween, I smile and laugh - yes, I probably look crazy already :)

For my fellow caregivers, embrace your warrior's strength and fight....someday you will have to be the one fighting.

Do not be sorry for my lose....I am not.  I had 9 wonderful years with Tom.  It's different for me, since I made the decision to take this journey with him.  To be able to live everyday to the fullest.  To never know what tomorrow will bring.  To love unconditionally.  To always know that our time was limited.

-Karyn

Karyn,

My deepest sympathy for your loss.  All I can really offer are lyrics from a song . . .  "Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf: 

 

 . . .  "get your motor runnin', head out on the highway, lookin' for adventure, and whatever comes our way . . . "

God bless Tom, you, and your family . . . and may the wind always be at your backs.

 

 

RE: I kept my promise....

by huxley2006 on Mon Nov 19, 2012 07:28 PM

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Karyn,

Peace, Love and Happiness to you always.......

 

Hux......

 

RE: I kept my promise....

by Ducks-n-Row on Mon Nov 19, 2012 08:10 PM

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Karyn,

It is not how you live your life that really matters but it is the journey getting there that really counts.......

HOPE

Damon

Dx Nov 07......No regrets

RE: I kept my promise....

by jon4156 on Tue Nov 20, 2012 06:28 PM

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I am very sorry to hear this news even though I kept up to date with the progress you wrote about including his going to hospice.  It's never easy, even when you know it's coming, even when it's someone you didn't know personally.

We have all been witness to your dedication, and the fight you and Tom put up.  You are both gallant warriors of the highest order.

RE: I kept my promise....

by Spouseof on Tue Nov 20, 2012 07:47 PM

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Karyn, your posts were always full of humor and love. You seemed to be undaunted by anything that was thrown at you. I wish you the best and a great trip!

RE: I kept my promise....

by ILoveMyHusband2 on Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:31 PM

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Karyn,

I'm so glad to hear that Tom's passing was filled with nothing but LOVE! You were the perferct match for him.  I love your last paragraph as it shows the magnitude of the love you shared with him. I felt the same way with my husband (still do). All of us have limited time, but we still need to live life to the fullest, regardless of how we spend our time doing it.  You are a very strong, sweet and loving woman.  Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I hope you find your island and enjoy some "me" time! Praying for comfort and peace for both you and Tom's family!  Much Love!

Stacy-wife of Eddie (GBM diagnosed 7/10-free 6/11)

RE: I kept my promise....

by angel1959 on Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:12 AM

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On Nov 20, 2012 11:31 PM ILoveMyHusband2 wrote:

Karyn,

I'm so glad to hear that Tom's passing was filled with nothing but LOVE! You were the perferct match for him.  I love your last paragraph as it shows the magnitude of the love you shared with him. I felt the same way with my husband (still do). All of us have limited time, but we still need to live life to the fullest, regardless of how we spend our time doing it.  You are a very strong, sweet and loving woman.  Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I hope you find your island and enjoy some "me" time! Praying for comfort and peace for both you and Tom's family!  Much Love!

Stacy-wife of Eddie (GBM diagnosed 7/10-free 6/11)

I lost my husband on oct 30th of lung cancer/brain mets he fought for 2 years we found out 31 may of his brain cancer it went downhill quick with seizures , headaches loss of his left side speech just everything his passing was like yours karyn filled with lots of love and eventhough he could not talk that day he smiled at me and we looked into each others eyes 31 years of love i miss him badly he donated his body to science we had a wonderful service with his dress greens uniform and flag and medals on nov 10th and the song that ended it was theyre youll be by faith hill and i played it the day he passed god be with you and hang on to the beautiful memories

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