But whether that's good or bad isn't yet clear
by marfunk84 on Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:11 PM
by mollie924 on Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:37 AM
I know exactly what you are talking about. I get frustrated also because my husband doesn't have the wit, humor, long term memory or organizational skills he once had. I am always concerned that if my memory starts to decline than we will both be in bad shape. When I get frustrated I then start to think of how very difficult it is for him because he knows his memory is not good and then I feel the empathy set in that I should have in the first place. As Charles Swindoll wrote - "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it."
by dbrinker on Wed Dec 05, 2012 02:16 AM
Oh my I know just how you feel and I as the Caregiver have been going through this since May 2012 at times. We use to ride motorcycles and he built his own house now he can't remember to take his own pills even when I put them in front of him. He is angry one day and sweet the next, I keep telling myself he isn't the same man and that nasty tumor started all of this but I'm drained at the end of the day and also live with the quilt. He remembers things that happened 60 years ago but has trouble day to day. Thank God for good friends who get me out of the house and also take him to lunch and Xmas shopping. It's hard oh so very hard but we must go on...In sickness and in health till death due us part. I too try to be strong but know how important it is for us to take care of ourselves. Take care you will be in my thoughts.
by tromda on Wed Dec 05, 2012 02:25 AM
Holy cow, Marfunk - have you been reading my mind? Some days I get so tired of being scowled at, snapped at and the subject of his paranoia. About once every two weeks, he has a good day....I live for those. I guess it keeps me going. Hang in there, you are not alone in your feelings.
by marfunk84 on Wed Dec 05, 2012 02:35 AM
by marfunk84 on Wed Dec 05, 2012 02:40 AM
by phyllischarles on Wed Dec 05, 2012 03:43 AM
ok then I am not the only one...He snaps and raises his voice to me. I have told him that I would leave him if he continues to yell at me..(then I felt so bad) I have this "thing" about being yelled at. (especially in public) He is normally so self contained. I have to remember that this thing is already taking over this man. I won't be able to stand it if he becomes mean. This is one of my fears that we will no longer love each other when this is over. I am already getting bitter about this and its not his fault. I want to make whatever time he has the best I can possibly make it. We used to have so much fun giggling and laughing at each other. We are only three months in...I don't want us to fall apart..we are all we have.
by phyllischarles on Wed Dec 05, 2012 03:45 AM
oh no....how long has he had this diease? I'm am already seeing a psychiatrist to help me to cope. I really hope meaness doesn't come into the picture as well. I am sorry for you.
by phyllischarles on Wed Dec 05, 2012 03:51 AM
Yes, I have, Charles looks great! But they arenot there to witness the sniffling from his cries of pain and his grief over what has happened. As well as his grief of not being able to provide financially for his family anymore. We will have to downsize in order to battle this thing. He wanted so bably to be able to keep his daughter (10th grade) in the school she is in but unless we can find something more affordable in this neighborhood its not going to be possible. We live in a expensive area. But cutting down to one income as I am sure alot of you have can be devistating in its own right. His one stomach pill is 99.95! Geesch! Not covered by Blue Cross or Medicare...I'm just venting again and mad as heck!!!
by phyllischarles on Wed Dec 05, 2012 03:52 AM
But what they see on facebook as he posts a pic everyday on his way to radiation, is still a good looking man wearing a Santa Hat. He puts a good face out there. Bless his heart.
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