My husband seems to be reaching the end stage of his Stage IV colon cancer. I'll post about that separately.
I don't want to go off subject here, but I really want to reach out to skately. My heart goes out to you. I almost feel as if I can empathize. Six or seven years ago, when I worked for a photography co., we took the class pictures of the Sandy Hook Elementary School (obviously not the same children who died on Friday -- they hadn't been born yet). I've been so sad lately, but had not yet shed a tear.
As soon as I saw your post, everything hit me at once. I broke down into tears for the first time since I heard of that devastating massacre of the little 1st graders, your heartbreaking loss and for the imminent loss of my husband. I know that tears are the best remedy. It's a cleansing process.
May God be with you as you struggle with your pain.