Scared Beyond Belief

6 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Scared Beyond Belief

by goingcray on Sat Dec 29, 2012 03:48 PM

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Hi Everyone:

I come to this board as I am scared beyond belief. I am a 42 year old female and will be having my first colonopscopy in two weeks due to blood in my stools. I am not afraid to have the colonopscopy, and I will deal with the prep, however, I am a completely distraught when I think about what the findings will be.

The blood in my stool started around early August. In August, I had thought I had seen blood on the end of one of my stools. I dismissed it thinking it was probably something I ate. Then early September same thing happened. In October, I had to go to the bathroom really bad and when I did the water was pinkish/red, not bright red but enough to lightly discolor the water. Once again, I ignored it thinking it was something I ate and told myself that if it happened again I was going to the doctor. Well a few weeks ago, I had to go the bathroom really bad and when I did once again the water was pinkish/red; same thing not bright red but enought to discolor the water.  This is when I really became scared!

Went to the GI doctor who did a rectal exam. He said everything felt normal. He then did a stool test. At first he said the test was normal and that there was no blood in the stool. I also had some tenderness that I felt on the left side of my abdomen. No pain just a little tender to touch. He told me to get dressed and he would be back to talk. When he came back in the room, he said that yes now there seemed to be a small about of blood in the stool. You could imagine my disappointment after he had just told me that there was no blood at that time in the stool. At this point he scheduled me for a upper endoscope and colonopscopy and sent me for blood tests. I did call for my blood test results but the nurse said the doctor didn't do any results over the phone and that he would go over them with me the day of my tests. I told her my concern and she said "no news is good news".  Of course that wasn't good enough for me and still has left me worried.

Last week I went to my gyncologist for my yearly appointment. I told him everything that was going on and he also did a stool test. This time the stool test was negative but of course he told me it was very important to have the endoscope and colonopscopy done.

Ok well to sum it up, I have blood in my stool here and there. The few times I saw the blood, it was there, and then I could have went an hour after that and it was gone. Other than some gas, I feel pretty good. Not tired, not losing any weight, and have an appetite. As far as my bowel movements, they differ. I am never really constipated and I usually go at least three times a day like clock work. Once thing I did mention to the doctor was sometimes when I have to go, I can not hold it in. I need to find a bathroom and go. Its not that my stomach will hurt its more like I just kind of can't control it.

Anyway, I am scared to death. This is all that runs through my mind all day long. I can't sleep, I can concentrate and all I do is cry. I can't even hug my 13 year old son without bursting into tears.

Any thoughts you can give is great appreciated.

 

RE: Scared Beyond Belief

by thebyrdsfriend on Sat Dec 29, 2012 05:19 PM

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I am so sorry you are so scared.  The only thing I would suggest at this point is to call your doctor, tell her you are scared witless, and get her to prescribe an anti-anxiety med. This will help you be able to keep it together for your son.  Right now the unknow is what's causing you such distress.  I don't know how things will turn out for you, but let me tell you colon cancer is one of the most curable, and most likely you've found it early.  But, two weeks is a long time to have to wait, so I would get some xanax or something.  You don't have to take it unless you're feeling the need.  But, your son needs you to be strong, so he doesn't worry and get stressed at his tender age.  Right now, no news IS good news.  And, there really is no need to stress about the tests, they are a piece of cake, I've had both.  It's all a bunch of worry for nothing, the prep is just a hassle, but hey, they've even improved that since I first starting getting them.  

I hope this helps you a little.  I'm sure more will respond who know more about your symptoms.  

Byrd

RE: Scared Beyond Belief

by Samuelly on Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:19 PM

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Hi,

I never had blood in the stool.  For me it was a gassy feeling all the time and even if some air was passed, it didn't make any difference.  Aside from that, I had no symptoms.  You are lucky in that you may be having some symptoms.  The problem with this type of cancer is that often you don't know about it until it has gone on too long and metastiscized.  It sounds like this is not the case with you(that's a good thing).  You just need to relax and take things as they come.  Stressing about it isn't helping you, your son...anybody.  I know it's hard but try to keep your mind off it, keep busy and try to chill out.  Taking things as they come and not looking too far ahead makes it easier to deal with everything.  Once you know more, it gets easier because you can then direct your energy towards researching what they tell you you have.

Wishing you the best.

RE: Scared Beyond Belief

by BernadetteH on Thu Jan 03, 2013 03:15 PM

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I strongly agree that you need to get an Rx for anxiety.  You have my sympathy as most of us have had fear before the testing but OTOH I have raised eight teens and your son is going on an emotional rollercoaster with you ...and he is at the most stressful time of his life.  Do it for him w/o delay and I'm sure it will help you greatly also.  Bernadette

RE: Scared Beyond Belief

by BernadetteH on Thu Jan 03, 2013 10:33 PM

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Also I forgot to offer some info that for me was very helpful.  I am a wimp!  It is possible to get "pills" in lieu of drinking scads of thick liquids.  Obviously it is not fun having to empty your body contents in prep for the test but for me it was much much easier to swallow big pills to prepare for the colonoscopy.  At least where I live it is common for patients to be handed an Rx for thick liquids but a friend shared that it was not the only way.  It made a huge difference in my state of mind.  Maybe not for you but for me it was a huge relief.  B

RE: Scared Beyond Belief

by retirednurse111 on Thu Jan 10, 2013 12:21 AM

Quote | Reply

On Dec 29, 2012 3:48 PM goingcray wrote:

Hi Everyone:

I come to this board as I am scared beyond belief. I am a 42 year old female and will be having my first colonopscopy in two weeks due to blood in my stools. I am not afraid to have the colonopscopy, and I will deal with the prep, however, I am a completely distraught when I think about what the findings will be.

The blood in my stool started around early August. In August, I had thought I had seen blood on the end of one of my stools. I dismissed it thinking it was probably something I ate. Then early September same thing happened. In October, I had to go to the bathroom really bad and when I did the water was pinkish/red, not bright red but enough to lightly discolor the water. Once again, I ignored it thinking it was something I ate and told myself that if it happened again I was going to the doctor. Well a few weeks ago, I had to go the bathroom really bad and when I did once again the water was pinkish/red; same thing not bright red but enought to discolor the water.  This is when I really became scared!

Went to the GI doctor who did a rectal exam. He said everything felt normal. He then did a stool test. At first he said the test was normal and that there was no blood in the stool. I also had some tenderness that I felt on the left side of my abdomen. No pain just a little tender to touch. He told me to get dressed and he would be back to talk. When he came back in the room, he said that yes now there seemed to be a small about of blood in the stool. You could imagine my disappointment after he had just told me that there was no blood at that time in the stool. At this point he scheduled me for a upper endoscope and colonopscopy and sent me for blood tests. I did call for my blood test results but the nurse said the doctor didn't do any results over the phone and that he would go over them with me the day of my tests. I told her my concern and she said "no news is good news".  Of course that wasn't good enough for me and still has left me worried.

Last week I went to my gyncologist for my yearly appointment. I told him everything that was going on and he also did a stool test. This time the stool test was negative but of course he told me it was very important to have the endoscope and colonopscopy done.

Ok well to sum it up, I have blood in my stool here and there. The few times I saw the blood, it was there, and then I could have went an hour after that and it was gone. Other than some gas, I feel pretty good. Not tired, not losing any weight, and have an appetite. As far as my bowel movements, they differ. I am never really constipated and I usually go at least three times a day like clock work. Once thing I did mention to the doctor was sometimes when I have to go, I can not hold it in. I need to find a bathroom and go. Its not that my stomach will hurt its more like I just kind of can't control it.

Anyway, I am scared to death. This is all that runs through my mind all day long. I can't sleep, I can concentrate and all I do is cry. I can't even hug my 13 year old son without bursting into tears.

Any thoughts you can give is great appreciated.

 

Hi and nice to meet you!

My name is Fran and I had my second hip replacement in Sept 2011...did great...but about 2-3 weeks post op I noticed some blood on the tissue.  I thought it was my hemorhoids, and so did my family Doc, but the blood increased to every stool and bright red blood covered each stool

I had a colonoscopy, BAD news....colorectal cancer!  It was stage 3 with no mets....thank you God!

Stay in touch with me...........I am doing great!  But I went thru hell and back to be alive!

Always pay attn to your body, and I do agree with the person who posted before me....you need some anxiety meds until and perhaps (hope NOT) you find your diagnosis.

Stay positive, you CAN whip this ferocious beast.....I have so far with my prayers to Jeus Christ, the Blessed Virgin and Saint Peregrine....the patron saint of cancer.............

Sending my love and prayers.....Fran

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