very scared and worried daughter

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very scared and worried daughter

by faithandhope25 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 07:39 PM

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Hello all, i just wanted to say how inspiring this site is, and everyone on here truly is so brave.

My mother (aged 54) has just been diagnosed with stage 4 PC which has spread to her liver, lymph nodes and a lesion was found on her back also.. i hope and pray she starts chemo very soon as she is now back in hospital for pain relief.

I am so terribly frightened, i am pretending to be as strong as an ox for her because i know that by keeping strong and positive is the only way she will ever fight this,but i cant help but feel absoloutley desperate!! :(

i just want her to be happy and healthy, and i will not ever stop exploring every possible way to help/cure her! what are the chances of her beating this AWFUL disease? i am only 20 and need her so much :( any feedback will be so appreciated.

Thank you take care love Georgia.

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by lucky2Bhere on Sun Jan 06, 2013 02:47 AM

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Hi Georgia,

I'm so sorry, you are so young to have to go thru this with your Mom. I not very good at giving advice, some on here are very knowledgeable. But make a list and ask your Mom's oncologist.

 Just want to say I will be praying for you & your Mom, God Bless, may the chemo help put your Mom in remission, and many years of being with you.  Be strong & stay positive! ((( hugs))) Candy

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by BlessedDaughter on Sun Jan 06, 2013 06:33 AM

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On Jan 05, 2013 7:39 PM faithandhope25 wrote:

Hello all, i just wanted to say how inspiring this site is, and everyone on here truly is so brave.

My mother (aged 54) has just been diagnosed with stage 4 PC which has spread to her liver, lymph nodes and a lesion was found on her back also.. i hope and pray she starts chemo very soon as she is now back in hospital for pain relief.

I am so terribly frightened, i am pretending to be as strong as an ox for her because i know that by keeping strong and positive is the only way she will ever fight this,but i cant help but feel absoloutley desperate!! :(

i just want her to be happy and healthy, and i will not ever stop exploring every possible way to help/cure her! what are the chances of her beating this AWFUL disease? i am only 20 and need her so much :( any feedback will be so appreciated.

Thank you take care love Georgia.

Hi Georgia,

My mom is 56 (was 55 when diagnosed) and I was 25. I'm not quite as young as you, but I completely understand your fear. I was so scared at first, but it does get better. I still have my days when I'm overwhelmed with fear eleven months into the battle, but you will come to a point of acceptance and thankfulness of every day you can spend with your mother. I'm not going to lie to you and I'm sure the doctors have told you that pancreatic cancer is pretty much the worst cancer. It is usually found late (like in your mother's case) and there have been very little advancements in treatments. The prognosis is very bad....BUT, my mother has NOT been a typical PC patient and your mom may not be either. My mom is in her 11th month of the fight and has had good quality of life being on chemo. She stays active and is very, very positive. A positive attitude goes a long way, Georgia, so remember that!!! :) I would recommend chemo so long as her quality of life is not jeopardized. Based on her age, please ask about FOLFIRINOX. It is the best chemo out through right now for PC. Some have had remarkable results and for others it has given them time.

I am scared of my mom going through this--that she will be scared and/or in pain (she isn't, thank God) and I am scared of being here with her. I don't want to be here without my mom, but you will come to a place where your fear will be put on the back burner and your presence will be that of joy and optimism--don't mourn her while she is still here. Our moms need us to stay happy and positive. Give her lots of hugs. Remember to take this one day at a time, sweet Georgia. That is the only way to go through this without losing your mind. 

Your mother and you are in my prayers. May God bless her, Georgia!! 

 P.S. Please message me anytime if you need help or advice.

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by faithandhope25 on Sun Jan 06, 2013 08:01 PM

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thank you so much for your kind words and support, it's nice to know that other people know how im feeling.. its the most painful thing i have ever experienced!

aww that's wonderful news about your mother and how se is still going strong, i can only hope and pray that both of our mothers can get through this with the continous love, help and support we are giving them! send my love to your mother too..

keep me posted, take care Georgia x 

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by faithandhope25 on Sun Jan 06, 2013 08:03 PM

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aww thank you so much candy, really appreciate people taking the time to listen and understand this pain that so many have felt :( i just love my mum sooo much! all i can do is hope pray and never give up! huggs back. G x

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by Happytalk210 on Thu Jan 10, 2013 06:51 AM

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I was the scared to death daughter. Join Pancan.org " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Pancan.org And sugn up for clinical trials online. My mom was Diagnosed at age 65. Diagnosed july 4 2008. Had pc surgery Consult july 24 2008. Scheduled surgery aug 15 2008. Spread all over abdominal cavity n organs. my Mom was not strong enough for chemo. She lost 70 Lbs. no early detection methods. i knew something was Wrong when my mom had no interest in eating a french fry. She was constipated n loss of appetite. the hardest Part was seeing my mom in pain. Took her to hosp aug 24 fir pain relief And they suggested hospice in my home. My mom Passed away 9/26/08. i miss her every day. My mom was only 65 years old. i am happy i was able to say good bye n tell her How much she meant to me. Pancreatic cancer research Is coming along. I gave read every pancan journsl, newsletter etc. I hope the work of 15 yr old jack andraka n others spreads. He developed an Easy test to detect pc n other cancers. read dr pausch book. Pancan.org " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Pancan.org has many Survivor stories. my mom lost her battle in two Short months. make each day count. My mom looked at me And said "Donna, i am not afraid, when u have faith And know where u are going, you arenot afraid". Blessings to you. I will pray For your mom. In the meantime, spend as much time as u can with her. Be there for her now.

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by Brandy_L on Thu Jan 10, 2013 05:05 PM

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I feel the need to send you a cyber hug!!  I'm on here because of my mom and my worries and my tears as well. I actually have been looking on the web constantly to find help for me and my emotions and answers.  When I came across your post I felt the need to sign up for this site as I just had to talk to you.  I had to share and help you know you are so not alone.  I'm a mess. 

My mom (age 61) was diagnosed in November with Stage IV PC that has spread to her liver as well.  She started with diabetes on May 10 and they could never get it under controlled.  She went on a diabetic diet and still it was so far out of control.  They kept adding medicine and adding medicine and adding medicine. On November 5th she was beyond excited because for the first time since May 10th she had a good report and she didn't have to add any more medicine. 

On November 9th, she started having bad pains in her side but it was after the doctor's office closed.  On Monday, November 12th she went to her regular doctor.  He did a CT scan and sent her to a specialist the next day.  That is when she was diagnosed officially with Stage IV PC cancer.  She was severely jaundice as her bile duct was blocked by the tumor.  She had an external drain for about a month and then they put it internally.  They did a nerve block for the pain and that seems to help tons. 

She has had 3 chemo treatments so far.  She has good days and bad days.  She has lost so much weight it's agonizing. 

OMG, I so understand your desperation and fears and everything.  I'm much older than you as I'm 41 but it's so heartbreaking.  I have no answers as I'm dealing every day.  I hate taking a shower as it's the only time during the day that I'm alone and can think.  I cry every single time I shower.  I hate when my kids ask me if grandma's dying.  I hate seeing my mom in pain.  I hate knowing that our lives have completely changed.  I feel so bad for you as I so know what you are dealing with.  I so wish I could reach through the computer and give you a hug.  And to be honest, it helps me to know I'm not alone in my feelings as well. 

Truly, cyber ~hugs~ to you Georgia!!!

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by faithandhope25 on Thu Jan 10, 2013 07:28 PM

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hello brandy, aww bless you so sorry to hear about your mum, and thank you for that lovely message.

how are you keeping? and how is your mum at the moment? my mum is off to a hospice tomorrow to discuss what treatment she can have. 

i so so so understand your pain, it is the hardest and most sickening thing to watch someone you love so much in pain and go through this.

have you ever heard of/seen a book by phillip day? its meant to be amazing for some people that are suffering from cancer, its all about diet and nutrition and things that help fight it off!! please check it out!! (mine is in the post as we speak) 

i will write on here tomorrow to tell you what is happening my side, all i can really offer at the moment is a cyber hug back and just to keep POSITIVE, im afraid im not much good for giving advice at the moment because my emotions are all over the place too :(

sending lots of love to you and your family, you will all be in my prayers this evening god bless. Gx

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by Brandy_L on Sat Jan 12, 2013 01:27 AM

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I've been thinking about your mom and you. I hope she got some encouraging words the other day.  *fingers crossed and prayers coming*

 

RE: very scared and worried daughter

by faithandhope25 on Sat Jan 12, 2013 03:28 PM

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hello sweetie, aww bless you thank you for your kind thoughts,

how are you? kids and most importantly your mother? how are you all coping with everything? and well my beautiful mother is starting chem soon, gemzar i think? and a pil to go alongside it.. not sure what that is called though.. and she is also having human cement on her back from where the cancer fractured her back :( so atleast they are doing something for her..

i am changing her diet and am going to find out about loads of vitamins and supplements she can take as i have heard wonderful results from other ways of treatment.

sending lots of love to you and family, please keep me posted will continue to pray for you and your mother!  GB G x

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