Terminal Diagnosis for Mom

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Terminal Diagnosis for Mom

by DaniK on Tue Jan 22, 2013 05:34 PM

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My mother went to the doctor for some headaches she had been having, and out of nowhere she has been diagnosed with metastatic brain cancer with multiple lesions.  She has declined treatment at this point in time and our family is supportive of that descision.  This has been so sudden and so quick that neither my dad nor I have any idea what to do or where to go from here.  We've been told that our time is short, but are still needing some guidance about how to support mom as well as what is going to happen to her next.  She has been so healthy and able bodied that this has been the very last thing our family would expect to happen.  The thing I have been taking solace in is that so far there has been no suffering and no pain for her.  There was never a chance for chemo or radiation, so we've been spared that pain also.  Just looking for any guidance or suggestions on how to proceed. 

RE: Terminal Diagnosis for Mom

by eternalife on Tue Jan 22, 2013 05:45 PM

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My father died of brain ca, within 6 months, he did have surgery, lost his speech and slowly continue to lose weight. Also tried chemo, it was too late.. we kept him at home for as long as we could and then he went to the hospital and passed away there.. Just keep talking to your mom, honour her wishes, where is the tumour.. ask the oncologist about what parts of the brain may be affected, ie speech, vision, emotions etc.. then you can be ready and be able to support her.. none of this journey will be easy.. keep your eyes open and be brave... stay strong and you will get through.


Praying for a cure to this beast called cancer. My husband is fighting stage iv EC right now, currently NED.

RE: Terminal Diagnosis for Mom

by DaniK on Tue Jan 22, 2013 05:52 PM

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My heart goes out to you.  We know very little at this point about where and how, but she is currently having a PET scan.  She had been having headaches with visual disturbances but that has been her only symptom outside of fatigue that she attributed to work.  I want to do everything I can with her and for her at this point.  I understand she has immense deppression about her diagnosis I just wish I could do something to brighten her sprits, but when you've suddenly been told your are dying I think that is almost impossible.  I appriciate your prayers and return the good thoughts.  I will lift up your husband and you as I pray. 

RE: Terminal Diagnosis for Mom

by LiquidxAngel on Thu Jan 24, 2013 09:53 AM

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My heart goes out to you - so very much.

My father passed away in October from PCNS lymphoma.  Like your mother, he'd exhibited few symptoms (had some eye floaters that his eye doctor chalked up to "getting older") until one weekend, he had severe speech issues.  

My first reaction was to think it was a stroke.  I called the paramedics and by the time the MRI was done, we were told he had a mass in his brain with multiple lesions.

He responded well to initial treatment but the tumor, being so advanced, eventually grew resistent to chemo.  From diagnosis to death, it was a turbulent eight months.

My father had little pain as well.  It was a mercy.  He simply grew weaker and less responsive as the days drew closer to the end.  He passed peacefully.  A single exhale and he was gone.

He looked more peaceful than I'd seen him in months.  

I think we suffer (as caregivers) more than anyone.  We can only sit back and watch as they slip away.  It's really tough.

Spend as much time with her as you can.  Tell her you love her, every chance you can.

I'd crawl in bed after my father became fully unresponsive, and just run my fingers through his hair and tell him how much I loved him.  I made sure, at that point, to tell him it was okay to go too.  I didn't want him to keep fighting just for me (we were each other's best friend).

I grieve for losing him, greatly.  As an agnostic, I don't have the full comfort of faith, sadly.  Some days, I wish I did though.

Surround her with all things great about her life.  Pictures. Music.  Family.  All of it.  Let her final moments be surrounded by utter love.

I'm so, so sorry for you, for your mother, and for your family. 

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