Personality changes, struggles

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Personality changes, struggles

by gigi50 on Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:54 AM

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My husband had his first diagnosis of AAgrade 3 13 yrs ago + cml (leukaemia) + prostate cancer and now dec 2011 dx of gbm. Had a brain port procedure last yr, radiation, and 5 months of temador which made him very sick... Stopped last October, some changes on MRI but still don't know what enhancements are so being watched monthly by oncologists. Here's the issue: over the past 2 years can only focus on things that affect him or that he wants to deal with...he's on LTD but does not help around the house etc...now very focused on very specific projects that cost money, he spends money like the is no tomorrow without any understanding of the house bills, the kids unversity costs, etc....now finding he can't sleep .....main focus is how things affect him with little regard for others.... I have been married for 25 yrs and we have 3 young adults/teens as kids - loving families etc ...he lost his dad last year after 47 days of diagnosis of cancer (81 yrs old) He is not the same person....I am going crazy trying to figure out how not to go into more debt with hm....we both had great jobs, I still do, maybe that's the issue but it is taking its toll....any advice?

RE: Personality changes, struggles

by tromda on Wed Jan 30, 2013 01:23 AM

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Is he on dexamethodone? My hubby had all the same issues while he was on it, plus agitation and aggression. It got a lot better once he was off, but even tapering off was a difficult process

RE: Personality changes, struggles

by RobinMB on Wed Jan 30, 2013 09:38 PM

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Your post really captured my attention!  Where is your husband's tumor located?  My husband's tumor is in the right frontal lobe.  Before his diagnosis, he was displaying the same characteristics that you mentioned.  I just thought he was going through some mid-life changes.  Then, once he had his surgery, he would be home all of the time and order things from tv.  We were getting deliveries 2 and 3 times a day.  I think it has to do with the location of the tumor that causes them to act that way.  My husband also has no regard for others.  It's all about him.  I'm not materialistic, but he has not even given me so much as a card or small gift in over a year.  Every birthday, anniversary and Christmas has gone by without acknowledgment.  He was never like that before the tumor. So, I've resorted to hiding the credit cards.  Maybe you could also call the credit card companies and have the balances lowered on your credit cards.  I just hope it makes you feel better knowing that you are not the only person dealing with this.  Take care and try to remember your husband as he used to be.  It's difficult at times, but I pray for patience every single day.

RE: Personality changes, struggles

by loveiseternal on Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:40 AM

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I also ended up hiding the credit/debit cards and the car keys.  It seems harsh but it really is a practical thing to do.  My husband just thought that he had misplaced them all and I just let him think that.

My husband did alot of online shopping in December 2011, when he was home and terminal.  While he was being sweet and buying Christmas gifts for others, he would often say that he didn't know what he was ordering, etc....  He did not want me to help him.  I was terrified to see what the credit card bills were going to be. 

Your husband is obviously struggling and that is understandable, but you need to take practical steps for your family.

God bless as it is all so hard,  Sally

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