Lost my positve thinking and need to find it

as many of you know my mother has been battling stage 4 PC for over a year now.  We had two months where we thought she had beaten it and were really looking forward to completing her bucket list.  In October of 2012, we found out that the cancer had spread to her liver and she started 5-FU chemo.  Through it all, I have tried to remain positive for her, however lately she is not able to stay awake for more then an hour or two a day.  She is getting weaker by the day and this last week her blood test showed that everything was extremely low.  They did chemo anyway and for the last four days it has been a fight to get her to eat or do anything.  She normally reads for hours a day and can't even do that.   I am so upset that I started crying at work today.  I can't go home and show her how upset I am but I am truly afraid that the chemo is killing her.  I don't know what to do.

I'm so sorry this has been such a horrible time for your Mom & you. I am praying for both of you. Please try & stay strong & thinking positive thoughts. Praying the chemo is doing its job & her body is just needing extra rest. When is her next scan? Ask her doctors lots of questions. Does she need a feeding tube? I pray not, is Mom still thinking positive?

May God Bless you both, sending prayers & positive thoughts to you!  Big Hug! Candy

On Jan 30, 2013 4:50 PM bestfriendmom wrote:

as many of you know my mother has been battling stage 4 PC for over a year now.  We had two months where we thought she had beaten it and were really looking forward to completing her bucket list.  In October of 2012, we found out that the cancer had spread to her liver and she started 5-FU chemo.  Through it all, I have tried to remain positive for her, however lately she is not able to stay awake for more then an hour or two a day.  She is getting weaker by the day and this last week her blood test showed that everything was extremely low.  They did chemo anyway and for the last four days it has been a fight to get her to eat or do anything.  She normally reads for hours a day and can't even do that.   I am so upset that I started crying at work today.  I can't go home and show her how upset I am but I am truly afraid that the chemo is killing her.  I don't know what to do.

Greetings: Crying is sometimes necessary. We are human and feel tremendous pain when our loved ones are hurting and we seem helpless. Even Jesus wept for his friends a number of times as written in the Bible. What has worked for me, is handing over my fears, worries, and pain to our Maker. At times we feel so inept that it makes us feel so inadequate. Hang in there and reassure your loved one you are here and love her very much. Stay in touch with your doctor and report any significant changes right away. Have your family with you as much as possible. It is amazing how powerful love is when it is around us. God bless you. I will ask the Lord to comfort you. If I were there I would give you a hug for you are a special daughter.

To Best Friend Mom,

I so feel your pain, frustration and fear. I can relate to you, as I did everything for my dad and had to put on the brave face when I saw him detiorating before my very eyes...Was the hardest thing I ever had to do...well almost. I would leave the hospital and cry all the way home. I stayed positive, focused, and would do everything and anything for him. This cancer is a beast, and you are damned if you do chemo, and damned if you don't.....I hope you have some people; other family & friends to talk to cry, vent & talk when you need to.  They are there for you to lean and you must right now and accept the same things others give you for strength.

I wish like everyone on here that there was no such thing as this cancer. The pain is so horrible for our loved ones, and just as tragic for the loved ones and cared givers....I have cried so much over a year, it seems impossible that the body can produce so many...Wish I could collect them all.

Hang in there, you are a wonderful daughter, and I too know your pain.

~Hugs~

Tracy

 

bestfriendmom

I feel for you both but it  would be very hard to stay positive ;we are all human and you are talking about someone whom you love so much, to see  Mums health change rapidly you at least know that when you were needed most you stepped up Mum will be  Proud of you and your efforts .I know it's no conolation.

best wishes to you both for the future

bushy

I am so sorry to read about your mother...

I am a PC patient myself, stage 2, diagonosed March 2012. After a successful whipple procedure, I had 6 months chemo to insure a longer life...

but during the 5 month, last September, the cancell spread into my liver, numerous .... 

My oncologist suggested me to use Folfrinox , which is a 4 drugs cocktail, including 5-FU. It worked well on me. After 6 rounds of treatment, and now the MRI shows that my cancer completely resolved from my liver, and tumor marker drop to 27 in my blood test. 

The chemo treatment was very hard on me. It lasted 3 days each treatment.  The side effect was awful, I lost a lot of body weight, seriously dehydrated ...

But, no matter how bad I felt, I justkept pushing myself to eat,to keep thinking of the delicious foodall the time, which is better than you keep thinking how awful you feel...

I also keep watching the Food Channel on TV to stimulate my appetite...even when I was vomitting, I still try to think of the next dish I wish to try...   Dut to the treatment, my blood count become extremely low... but I still try to walk whenever I could... 

In one word, one has to keep a positive thinking no matter how bad your condition is. Don't give up, things will get better. 

Hope my story helps. Wish you mother will get better. 

Ping from NYC

 

 

 

thank you for your response.  I wish I could get my mother to wtach tv.  Yesterday she was diagnoised with veritgo.  The pills that they gave her to treat that make her even more tired then she is now.  Unfortunately, she is stage 4 and sometimes I wonder if all of the treatment is worth it.  The hardest part is watching her lose who she was.  She was alway a strong and independent woman.  Now she is totally dependent on me to make all the decisions for her.  I make her medical decisions, her financial decisions and even what she is going to eat half the time.  I really would like to have my mother back and I don't think that is ever going to happen again.  I am the parent now and she is the child.  It is very hard. 

I hope that you continue to have the best of luck with your recovery and remain NED.  You are in my prayers.

Please do not give up! You have to keep a positive thinking, positive thing will happen.

Yes I was stage 2, but it spread to liver. It is as bad as stage 4 now.

I also know a guy who was DX to PC stage 4. And he took the Folfrinox treatment, without surgery.  When I met him again, he was thin, but strong. His tumor shrank half of the original size.  If you check subject "folifrinox" at this Message Board, you will see more people who receive the same treatment at stage4 and getting better. Everyone agreed that positive thinking is very important to help you to go through this tough treatment.

Please don't give up. Make your Mom interested in eating. Only by eating, one could regain the strength and body weight. Please be positive!   

I don't know if you can take it or not, but ginger tea help sometimes for vomiting.