Anxiety With Follow-Ups

Hi! I am a 26 year old female who was diagnosed with Stage 1 NHL in my left tonsil exactly 1 year ago today-Nov. 4, 2005. God blessed me with wonderful doctors and family, and after 3 rounds of CHOP w/Rituxan and 20 radiation treatments, I was put into remission on March 17, 2006.

The day I was diagnosed, I lost my job. I was only there for 3 weeeks, so...2 days after my first treatment, my now exfiance kicked me out. It was a pretty bad time. However, I am beyond thankful to have my life today and to have all of the lessons learned.

My only problem is, when I have to go for the follow-up CT Scans and visits with my oncologists, my entire body spasms and I get depressed. It starts on my drive to the medical building to get the scan. When I lay down to get the iv contrast, they have a hard time getting it in, because my veins spasm and I get extremely shakey and emotional. Then, when I leave there, I'm a wreck until my appt. with my doctors. When I find out good news, I'm great, but then spend the next week not believing this just happened to me and reliving the pain of chemo/radiation and my engagement ending. Does anyone else experience this? Is this normal and what can I do to help myself relax without having to rely on antidepressants? Mind you, I have a career in pharmacy, so I'm fully aware of the benefits and side effects of these drugs. Can anyone help me with this? Thank you so much and God be with all patients/survivors and their families.

I got a sore throat last July that wouldn`t go away. Got a CT scan in September and was diagnosed with Stage IV tonsil cancer that had spread into the lymphnodes on the right side. I took seven weeks of taxol & carboplatin every Monday along with intense radiation everyday for seven weeks.

I had never been sick and had no idea I might have cancer. The day I was diagnosed I was playing football with my 12 year old daughter.

I went to the University of Michigan and was told I had a 50% chance of surviving. My pet scan last March showed cancer free. I have another one coming up January 2nd and I think about it everyday. I have the same feeling as you, but I hide it as best as I can. I went to the dentist at U of M yesterday and they are concerned about a blister still on my tongue and are sending me to a oral specialist 11/27. Really nervous about that. Everytime I get a pain in my neck I say to myself...It`s back!...My point is we all are going through it. Hopefully some day we can get on with our life.

Being you were a Stage I, I don`t think you should worry like you are. From all my research you will live a full life. Now in my case, I have a 30% chance for a 5 year survival. I just pray I have the chance to see my daughter enter college.....and mayyyybe walk her down the aisle. I`m getting greedy...ha.

Relax kid, you`ll be fine.


Ron

It is really common to have these post traumatic like reactions after going through all you have been through. You seem well informed about medication options which can be helpful. 2 other things that have been GREAT help: EMDR(cant remember what it stands for, Eye Movement something something). It is a technique taught to interrupt the anxiety/stress pathway, usually can be learned in 1-2 sessions with a trained person. Here in Vermont, the folks who do this are therapists but I bet you could find more info on line. I have seen this DRAMATICALLY help decrease stress response, panic attacks and post traumatic stress responses from many different sources....
The other thing is to find someone who does either network chiropractor or a massage therapist who does reiki like technique to help soothe your neurological system. Good luck! Hope your test results continue to be positive. Martha

Tiffer - I also have cancer. Stage 4 (n2b) tonsil cancer with node involvment. I had a neck dissection in February this yeat followed by radiation and chemo. Though the physical side of the treatment was very difficult the mental side of recovery can be as difficult and in someways more important. We all undergo a great deal of stress before, during and after our scans. I found it helpful to do breathing exercises and meditation. You can find some excellent sites on meditation on the net. I hope they help you as they did me. Good luck.


Tucker

I finished my treatment 12/23/05 so we are kind of in the same boat. Question is, do you have any taste? I have almost none 11 months later and Doc says it might never come back.

Ron

Dave - It has been its been 7 months since the end of my radiation treatment and yes my taste had come back about 60%. I was fortunate in that I only had radiation on one side of my neck, the taste buds on the opposite side survived. However I have talke to people that have had treatment on both sides and they eventually recovered some taste. Not being able to taste food was very difficult, but I did lose about 30 pounds which was a good thing.

Hi,

I was reading about how you suffer from anxiety due to taking scans and all related to your cancer.  Honey let me tell you, I do know how you feel.  I went through the same exact thing.  I was 32 when I was diagnosed with stage 1 predominantly large b cell/follicular lymphoma.  If I can recall that was what it was called.  I'm still having anxiety attacks, I was on effexor for 7 yrs. and after relocating and starting over due to hurricane Katrina I decided to wean off of this drug.  Being on that antidepressant was hard as it was, because it deprived me of sleep.  I'm having to do scans all over again b/c all of my 8 yrs of scans was destroyed in the hurricane.

I just wanted to express that I do know what and how you feel.  Even though I've been in remission all these years I still get really scared and anxious.  The last scan I took was back in July and I just went to be scanned again today, because the new doctor where I'm living now says she saw something that was very very small near my lung, this was in July and she told me that since all of my prior scans were destroyed I had to retake scans again and she was going to compare this one to the last one and so on, she feels like it's nothing but scar tissue, or a cal deposit or something like that. .  I was deeply upset not to mention anxious, also after moving into a new beautiful home, the house of my dreams with my husband and family I've just found out that he had an affair on me after living here for a few mos.  My husband had a gastric bypass surgery and the weight loss went to his head and he completely forgot where he'd come from.  So honey I do know, but keep your head up and always remember that someone somewhere out there always has it worst than you do.