Goodbye....

6 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Goodbye....

by Jennifer111466 on Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:00 AM

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To all:

I will no longer be posting on this forum and would like to say goodbye to those I have come to know as kindred spirits with a loved one suffering/fighting from or having lost the battle to brain cancer. I have become very attached to several of you and your stories and will continue to remember you and pray for you, as well as a cure.

I began entering this message forum to try to help others who were going through the same thing my sister and I went through with our mom (the true hero and fighter), but it has turned into a forum that is out of control in some areas, where people who are hurting are getting cussed out because they don't respond in the way someone expects them to, and I can no longer be a part of that. Dealing with my own grief, it just makes me more sad and causes more pain to watch others handle things by being so hurtful and unkind.

Many may not agree with me and that is ok, but I have learned in life to remove myself from situations in my life that cause me more unnecessary grief and heartache than what I need. There are some very special and unique individuals that will be able to bring a lot of comfort and strength to this forum, and possibly some who willl enjoy seeing me go-that's ok too.

Right now I have to realize I am not helping on here anymore...so with that said, I say good bye to all of you and my best wishes for you are your families fighting cancer. It is God, prayer, family, friends, and time that helps.

Much love and Merry Christmas,

Jennifer (TN)

RE: Goodbye....

by Evalyn on Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:00 AM

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Dear Jennifer,

I for one will miss you on this board.  You and your sister have been a great resource for me.  Our mother's journey is very similar except I am just a few months behind you.  Your honesty, your words of advice and caution have all been greatly appreciated by me.  This is such an awful disease and the tragedy is maginfied when you love your mother so much.  I am an only child, she truly is my best friend and business partner.  I cherish each day I am with her.  Three weeks ago they (my parents) moved close to me and I am so glad.  Her tumor has returned and there is no further treatment.  I am praying she will make it through the holidays.  My holiday season is so mixed with emotions.  I am so glad to be with her every day, I am so anxious to make this holiday special for her, but just double over in pain as I know this will be our last Christmas together.  This is just so hard.  Each day the confusion becomes a little more obvious and she is totally immobile.  Even through this devasting expereince God has blessed me with friends and a great support system.  He has blessed me with a relationship with my parents that is even more precious than before.  I always thought that having my Mom "wear diapers" would be the worst thing that could happen, but it is really not a big deal as long as she is enjoying some quality of life.  Continue to pray for us.  I think of you and your sister often as you two have made such a difference in my life and have given me glimpses of what is to come, which has better prepared me to be a better caregiver.  I know this holiday is going to be very hard for you.  Just know there are people you haven't even met praying for you!  Sometimes my Dad will ask me questions about what will most likely occur next, and I share what I learned from "my friends".  I consider you a friend.  If you feel you must move on then go ahead and do just that.  Know you will be missed and that you contributed a lot and helped me and others. EvaLyn

 

 

RE: Goodbye....

by Karenw on Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:00 AM

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Jennifer-- I am so sorry to read your message and know how hurt you have felt lately through this board.  You and your sister have helped me so much from the first day I posted, right through handling my grief that my mother is no longer here.  I have shared many of your messages with my dad, and you have been a source of inspiration and information for both of us.  I understand why you feel that you can no longer be part of this, but I will miss your support.  I wish there was a way we could exchange email addresses.  (maybe you could give me your school and we could connect through that address?) 

   The holidays feel like such a huge hurdle to get through, beginning with today, which should be my parents' 50th wedding aniversary.  I think of you and your sister often and know that not having our moms here this holiday will be so difficult.  Please know that you have comforted many of us through the worst time of our lives and we appreciate all that you had to give.  With appreciation, Karenw

RE: Goodbye....

by Kitty12 on Fri Dec 15, 2006 12:00 AM

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I wish you well.  At some point it is best to get away from all the frustrations and reminders of this terrible disease.  My husband has had 2 good MRI's now and feeling better since he has been off Temodar than he has since his surgery in Dec. 05.  I only post when I have questions or to relay good news which we had last week.  Some  just skip and dont read since I know it will not be uplifting.   Have a good holiday and rejoice that your mother is in a better place than suffering here.  God b less you.

RE: Goodbye....

by caring_daughter on Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:00 AM

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Dear Jennifer,  I want to thank you for the empathetic support that you have offered to all of us on this message board as we have walked our individual, yet sometimes similar, journeys with GBM.  You have been a source of support and understanding for me that I cannot obtain from my good friends, in-laws, etc.  It is true that one cannot truly understand someone's journey, pain, etc. unless they have traveled in their footsteps.  I thank you for reaching out to so many of us during your mom's illness and after her death.  You are a true legacy of love.  Your mom is so proud of you.  I am sorry that things on this message board have gotten a bit out of hand.  You are a caring, sensitive person.  I truly appreciate your decision.  It is important for you to do what you need to do to take care of YOU!  You are an inspiration to all loving, caring daughters.  Take care of yourself.  Rondi

RE: Goodbye....

by Memaw on Thu Dec 21, 2006 12:00 AM

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Dear Jennifer,

 I was so sorry to hear that you would no longer be posting on this sight.

I have been reading the post but not responding much, and I read the post that seemed to be showing so much anger toward others.  I am so sorry that things on this sight have brought you and your sister more pain.  I myself feel very blessed that I have gotten to know you and your sister from this sight.  You both have helped me alot in the past with always answering my questions about my mom whenever I asked and have helped many others even when you were in so much pain yourself.  God Bless you both for being there for so many.....

  You and Madeline have been very faithful to the Lord and I can tell that you are both good Christian people and this has helped me alot knowing that I was getting loving advise from Christians.  

  I have been so sad lately just sitting and watching my mom who is completely bedridden and cannot even have a conversation with us any longer and sorry to say that I have been having moments when I am questioning God as to why her life has to end this way..   My mother has worked very hard all of her life and has alway been very kind to others.

  Now all she can do is lay in the bed and wait for me to do everything for her.  I have to move her body around alot so she does not get bed sores...and I have to move her right side for her because she is now unable to move that side without help..... I feel so sorry for her ...... she is trapped inside her mind and cannot tell anyone how she is feeling... I just want her to be able to talk to me again... I want to know if there is anything else she needs for me to do for her...

  Sorry to rattle on but as I am writing this my eyes keep feeling up with   tears...... I have been crying alot lately for all of the things my mother has lost because of this disease....

 Well again I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING THERE FOR ME WHEN I HAVE NEEDED YOU.   I am sorry for the loss of your mother , but I know she must be looking down on you and your sister saying I AM SO PROUD OF BOTH OF YOU.  

  GOD BLESS YOU BOTH AND TRY TO HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS...  LOVE DEBBIE 

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