Buhla,
I don't know iif you are still posting on this site, but maybe you should wait until you get over being so angry. No one here is wearing rose colored glasses. But, if keeping it surreal, get us through it, then who are you to bring us down? No one is in denial. We are just suppose to spend what little time is left being angry and miserable? I don't think you get it. What do you think this site is for. It is for support and tryin gto live each day without crying or just giving up. As a caregiver, what kind of days do think my husband would have if my attitude was, "Well honey, I'm not going bother helping you with your feedings, and why bother even going to the doctors, you are as good as dead, so get it over with already.."
If talking about our loved ones being possibly part of the12 or 20% that can make it makes us feel better, it does not mean we are in denial. Being angry and miserable does no one any good. It seems you are pissed because it took so much from you, and everything you scarificed, all the heartbreak, all YOU did, was a waste of time. If you are not the one who is sick, it's not about YOU. It's about what you can do to make it easier. And if you are that selfish that all you are thinking about is what you lost, and what you went through, then you need to take your anger somewhere else.
We all know the reality of this disease. But we are still living with it, trying to get through any way we can. Are you so blind that you cannot read between the lines sometimes with what is being shared? Especially with those who have this cancer?
We will get through this, and all know what is the most likely outcome. Don't make it worse.