My Dad Died Of Liver Cancer

When I was 6 years old, just a couple of days after Christmas, my dad found out he had cancer. Seen as I was 6 i didn't really understand what was happening, and thought he just wasn't feeling well or had a tummy bug. Over the next few months my dad was in and out of hospital, and I barely saw him. My older sister who was 2 years older then me didn't like going to visit him in the hospital. I think she was scared seen as she understood more. As July came, my birthday swept past and I can't even remember if my dad was there of being treated at a hospital. I had quite a happy life, but I was so confused about my dad and started to forget little parts about him. I can remember one day he had come back from hospital in August, and i didn't reconise him just because he had grown a beard because he had been in there for so long and I hadn't seen him! Soon the cancer had gone from his body and he started to get better, only did we know it was just going to get worse. It had gone back to his liver, and got cancer again. He lost weight and the same treatment came all over again. By this time I was 8. He was able to be with us on Christmas 2002, and it seemed like we were a proper family again. But he had to go back in again. I had my mum and sister while he was away. March came and his birthday was expected on the 15th. It was the 10th and Dad was so ill. By night he didn't know who I was. He was trying his best to breathe and he was sitting up staring past me. I was scared. I went to my bedroom and cried. My mum found me and I cuddled with her. I went back downstairs and stayed with dad a bit but then I had to go to bed. My mum came into my bedroom at 3:45am in the morning. My dad had died. All three of us cried. Now I'm 12 and it's nearly my fourth year of having Christmas without my Dad. I cry alot still although its been nearly 4 years but I wish I could've been with him a bit longer.  Before he had a full-time job and only spent proper time with him at weekends. My friends don't understand how it is and there all lucky even if some of their parents have divorced because they still have both of them. I'm not the unluckiest person ever like those poor people in Africa but cancer kills and its my number one enemy and my dad fought hard to beat it.

 

On 12/22/2006 Sadysweet wrote:

When I was 6 years old, just a couple of days after Christmas, my dad found out he had cancer. Seen as I was 6 i didn't really understand what was happening, and thought he just wasn't feeling well or had a tummy bug. Over the next few months my dad was in and out of hospital, and I barely saw him. My older sister who was 2 years older then me didn't like going to visit him in the hospital. I think she was scared seen as she understood more. As July came, my birthday swept past and I can't even remember if my dad was there of being treated at a hospital. I had quite a happy life, but I was so confused about my dad and started to forget little parts about him. I can remember one day he had come back from hospital in August, and i didn't reconise him just because he had grown a beard because he had been in there for so long and I hadn't seen him! Soon the cancer had gone from his body and he started to get better, only did we know it was just going to get worse. It had gone back to his liver, and got cancer again. He lost weight and the same treatment came all over again. By this time I was 8. He was able to be with us on Christmas 2002, and it seemed like we were a proper family again. But he had to go back in again. I had my mum and sister while he was away. March came and his birthday was expected on the 15th. It was the 10th and Dad was so ill. By night he didn't know who I was. He was trying his best to breathe and he was sitting up staring past me. I was scared. I went to my bedroom and cried. My mum found me and I cuddled with her. I went back downstairs and stayed with dad a bit but then I had to go to bed. My mum came into my bedroom at 3:45am in the morning. My dad had died. All three of us cried. Now I'm 12 and it's nearly my fourth year of having Christmas without my Dad. I cry alot still although its been nearly 4 years but I wish I could've been with him a bit longer.  Before he had a full-time job and only spent proper time with him at weekends. My friends don't understand how it is and there all lucky even if some of their parents have divorced because they still have both of them. I'm not the unluckiest person ever like those poor people in Africa but cancer kills and its my number one enemy and my dad fought hard to beat it.

I lost my husband on 12-7-06 and he was my best friend too.  I know it's a difficult time of the year but reading your message, you sound like a very intelligent and courageous person.  You must remember all the good times you had with your dad and as difficult as it is, you need to be strong for your mom and sister and by the sounds of it, I know you will.  Yes cancer is my enemy also, it's a very bad disease that takes away our loved ones.  I know your dad fought as hard as he could, just as my husband did also.  I want you to know that you are not alone, even if your friends don't understand, there are people here who do and you can contact me at anytime, if you want to vent, cry or just need a shoulder to lean on.  It's ok to feel the way you do, he was your dad, a friend, a hero.  Always remember that.

Thank you so much for what you said after replying from my message. I wasn't expecting someone to reply, but I wanted someone to. I'm sorry to hear about your husband, but now I know someone that has something in common with me that I can easily talk to. I can talk to my mum about it sometimes, but then I feel awkward and guilty as she usually ends up crying. And I can't talk to it about my sister, as she doesn't like talking about him and I can understand why obviously. My dad was called Ian, and he worked at a printing buisness. I can remember when I went to his funeral with my family, and I was missing a day off school. After the service, while everyone was looking at all the flowers, we went over to a bench outside away from everyone else and had a cry. I can remember looking at a grave stone thing, with the name James Bond on it, which cheered me up. Some of the things that can just upset me are like the fact he never saw me go to high school, or he will never see me go to university or college. Or my 18th and 21st birthdays, or even if I get married. Strangely I feel so alone, as none of my friends have lost a parent, yet I know loads of people across the world have the same problem as me, or worse. Sometimes life can be hard without him, but I try to make my mum laugh. Being the youngest, I don't have a clear memory of him like anyone else. Plus theres lots more photo's of him and my sister together of mum and him together. So I feel a bit jelous at times. I'm sure everyone around you will want to spend a great Christmas with you, and I hope you do too! I hope you stay in touch with the website, and remember your husband will always love you no matter where he is.  

 

On 12/24/2006 Sadysweet wrote:

Thank you so much for what you said after replying from my message. I wasn't expecting someone to reply, but I wanted someone to. I'm sorry to hear about your husband, but now I know someone that has something in common with me that I can easily talk to. I can talk to my mum about it sometimes, but then I feel awkward and guilty as she usually ends up crying. And I can't talk to it about my sister, as she doesn't like talking about him and I can understand why obviously. My dad was called Ian, and he worked at a printing buisness. I can remember when I went to his funeral with my family, and I was missing a day off school. After the service, while everyone was looking at all the flowers, we went over to a bench outside away from everyone else and had a cry. I can remember looking at a grave stone thing, with the name James Bond on it, which cheered me up. Some of the things that can just upset me are like the fact he never saw me go to high school, or he will never see me go to university or college. Or my 18th and 21st birthdays, or even if I get married. Strangely I feel so alone, as none of my friends have lost a parent, yet I know loads of people across the world have the same problem as me, or worse. Sometimes life can be hard without him, but I try to make my mum laugh. Being the youngest, I don't have a clear memory of him like anyone else. Plus theres lots more photo's of him and my sister together of mum and him together. So I feel a bit jelous at times. I'm sure everyone around you will want to spend a great Christmas with you, and I hope you do too! I hope you stay in touch with the website, and remember your husband will always love you no matter where he is.  

Hi my name is Dale and thank you for your reply.  I know this is a difficult time of the year but I hope that in someway you had a nice Christmas.  Since it's only been a couple weeks for me, it was a tough time and I'm not ashamed to say I did cry because I miss my husband terribly, his name was Ron.  I just want you to know that I am here for you anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or if you just feel like talking.  If I don't respond right away it doesn't mean that I have forgotten you, it's just I work a lot of hours and sometimes I don't check messages right away.  I will keep in touch with you for as long as you need someone to talk to.  My husband's brother lost his wife to cancer about 12 years ago and he told me that there is not a day that goes by that he doesn't miss her.  So it's normal to feel the way we do.  It just means that there was a special bond and love between you and your dad the way there is between me and my husband.  You take care and like I said you can write to me anytime, ok?

All the things that make you sad about what your dad will miss - your high school years, seeing you get married, etc. are the same things that probably made him the saddest to know he'd miss them also. I guarantee he will always be with you. You'll have that extra protection. There is nothing worse than knowing you won't see your children grow up. To be there for them. Your mom is going through her own emotions and worried about you and your sister. There is likely an organization through the hospital that helps kids your age who have lost a parent. There you would have people who have gone through what you are going through. To say it will get better is not helpful at this point. You are doing all the right things. you are reaching out for help and verbalizing how you feel. That is a huge first step. There is a lot that you didn't understand at the time. The disease does not bring out what is truly the person at the time. Talk to your dad's family. Have them tell you stories about him when he was young, when he was a new father, how he and your mom met. Talk through a photo album. Then keep a journal so you can share with your kids some day the kind of guy your dad was. As they talk through memories with you, you're likely to remember more. My prayers are with you. You will always find an understanding friend on this site. Be strong, but know it is ok to cry whenever you need to.

Im so sorry that you have had to experience such grief and loss at such an early age.  My cousin who is my best friend now has breast cancer that has spread to her liver.  she has three young children 6,9,11.  they like yourself dont realize what will happen in months or hopefully years to come.  she is only 41 years old and it kills her to think of everything she will miss in her childrens lives.  i have tried to get closer to her kids who will need love and attention from relatives and friends.  you must always remember how much you loved your father and the memories you do have of him.  you are fortunate that you have some positive feelings becuase many children never experience the love that you sound like you have received.  this is something you must cherish and hold on to.  that being said its ok to feel angry and sad becasue thats only natural.  i too would recommend a grief groupo of children who have shared the same experience that you have.  keep loving and supporting your mom so that you both witll hep each other through those tough days and years ahead.  im truly so sad hearing about your experience.  my thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Thank you for your beautiful message. My dad is dying of liver cancer. He has 6 children, and all of us are dealing with this lose differently. It was wonderful to read what you wrote. I was able to take a lot of faith and hope from it.

Thank you,

Kim

Thank you for your beautiful message. My dad is dying of liver cancer. He has 6 children, and all of us are dealing with this lose differently. It was wonderful to read what you wrote. I was able to take a lot of faith and hope from it.

Thank you,

Kim