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I'm Back

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Survivor
Survivor
Lavender13215
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Subject: I'm back
Date: 12/25/2006
Sorry it's been so long since visiting the site. I've had some ongoing side effects with my neuropathy and trying different things to work on the pain so that i can relax, sleep etc. After about six modes of both physical and prescription options I am now on  methadone, which immediately killed the pain I had been dealing with for three years but it has it's on side effects. I thought I had gotten pretty tolerant to IV pain meds so although I wasn't wild about taking an addictive drug like that even though it was a low dosage a was very reluctant to take it. Let me tell you it KICKED MY BUTT! I don't care if people think i'm a heroin addict if i can have ZERO pain after all this time. It's taken about 7 weeks to get my body used to it. It causes vomiting, nausea extreme sleepiness headaches hallucinations and I experienced them all. But it's still worth it. I need to get back to work before I get fired. My job has keeped me in the system past the year even though i did come back for a few hours a few days a few months ago. One of my doctors asked why did I want to go back?  I said it had something to about insurance and that they have no ceiling. My disability insurance sucks though which has added to my stress. Social Security paid be benefits in record time and i'm still have to call doctors to send info to my disability company. That institution is an outrage and they are so completely protected by so many laws that they literally treat you like crap, take as long as they want to process a claim and you can get a lawyer and go thru all the hoops but even if you win all they have to pay is what they owe. No interest penalty, nothing for punitive damages and probably not any of your lawyer fees. It's just wrong. This did not help my anxiety and depression issues and I'll be seeing my phsycologist every other week for a long time. All my doctors are concerned with its effects on my cancer which is when i do go back to work they only want me going back 2 days a week 5-6 hrs a day for quite a while and that i sit down with my general manager and make sure he agrees that when i come back I only do my office work and go and not get pulled into any special projects or to put out any fires if I can't get that in writing they don't think I should go back. I said that was easy for them to say but i'd worked too hard and long to be in the position i was in and although i commute the small town i live does not offer the position, money or benefits that someone with metastatic ovarian cancer needs. I'm going to try to go back 1/11 but we'll see.
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