Ec At 37? Isn't This Young?

My husband who is a strong healthy 37 yr. old who has never smoked a day in his life was diagnosed with EC on Sept. 22, 2006.  I have researched everything out there and all the reports say that it is an older persons cancer.  A routine check-up picked this up and here we are.  He started an intense chemo regimen and he finished that up on Dec.21 and now we wait to hear from the surgeon as to when to do the surgery.  I don't know what it is but he refuse to be sick.  We have 4 children 9, 5, 3, and 11 months and he does not want them to see him sick.  The power of his will so far has been stronger than this disease.  Whatever it takes to get him through this.  It's hard to stay positive all the time but having loving and supportive family and friends has helped both of us tremendously.  Positive thinking really is powerfull.   

Hello yes it is young we found out about my husband on 10/1/06 he is only 46 and also never smoked and doesnt drink. He is stage 4 and only able to do chemo. We also have young kids 2 boys 12 and 8 years old. What can I say it is just the biggest mess. Try to find a group to attend I find it is really helping me. Stay strong

Helaine

Helaine,

I'm sorry to hear of your husband's recent diagnosis too.  A support group would be a great thing, but as awful as this sounds, I just can't get away.  By the time I finally get my kids settled for the night it's too late for me to head out anywhere.  I have been leaning on my parents and friends alot and it really seems to be helping.  I try as hard as I can to be strong for him so he knows that he can talk to me and it won't make me tear up.  I must say I am doing a pretty good job with it too.  The thing that always runs through my head is what will I do if something happens to him.  I try not to think about it a lot, but I'm sure you know, when you're alone a whole lot runs through your head.  I'm sorry to ramble, thank you for taking the time to write to me.  I hope your husband handles the chemo well and I hope your boys' are doing ok with this whole mess. 

-Strong4him

Dear Strong4ForHim,

My Husband was diagnosed in April 2005. He is still here. Over this past summer, I was getting worried about him not seeing his daughter or anyone else. He did not want anyone to see him sick. He wouldn't eat organic food - that would mean he was sick. He was (is) fighting the fact that he has cancer, and not the cancer - But, He has come further than most. His quality of life has of course suffered some, but his will and attitude are most of the reason he is still around. And - I think I am doing a pretty good job myself! Researched everything. Let him know things, what is out there. Sometimes, they don't listen. As long as you are there, with your children, fighting along with him, it's more than 1/2 the battle.

 

Lou38s,

I'm glad to hear your husband is staying strong.  He does sound like my husband.  He doesn't want our children to see him sick at all.  He doesn't even want me to have to see him right after his surgery.  Sometimes he can be so stubborn, but that's what's keeping him fighting so hard.  If you don't mind me asking, did your husband have to have surgery?  That is the next step for us, probably within the next few weeks and it is a scary thought. 

Thank you for taking the time to write to me.  I really appreciate it. 

My husband age 40 was just told he also has EC 3/21/07, we have 3 children very close in age to yours 8, 5, & 3.  This has been crushing to us, everything has just been turned upside down in our world, as you know.  I was curious in whatpart of the country you live, and where you are seeking treatment, did you get a second opinion, we are in Indianapolis, and are considering traveling to the cleveland clinic, mayo clinic, or Cancer treatment centers of America in Zion IL.  We are so new to this we have an appiontment in about two hours to get the info, on staging etc. I am just in knots, I desperatly want to know, but at the same time, I am so scared to be blown away by the news.  At this point my husband is very determined to see this as a bump in the road, that he will overcome.  This is good, but I am still very worried about a million things including the children, finances, what  the future really holds, I have parents/friends in town, and of course they are willing to help, but the uncertainty is just awful.  I wish you and your family the best, and if you could let me know where you are being treated, and if you have good points or bad about any treatment places, that would be very helpful.

Just reading your message brought back all my fears from September when my husband was diagnosed.  It makes me so sad to read that someone else who's life is very similar to mine is beginning this dreadful journey.  As far as where my husband goes, it is Dana-Farber/Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston.  We did not seek a second opinion although I think many do.  It is totally on how you feel I think.  I have absolutely nothing but positive things to say about all the dr.'s and staff we have had.  They have been very honest and straight forward with us.  My husband was diagnosed in Sept., did 9 weeks of chemo, has had the surgery and is now recovering.  It has definitley been very hard on the whole family and I would not wish this on my worst enemy.  My husband has stayed extremely positive throughout this, in fact he has me planning right now a family trip to Disneyland at the end of April.  He says he's had enough of this and wants a break.  You have a lot ahead of you, but I was just there 6 months ago and now here we are planning a vacation.  Take each day one at a time and don't look too far ahead.  Try to stay as positive as possible and take care of yourself too.  As far as your children go, how are they handling this?  My children unfortunately knew too much about cancer before all this with their Dad, and it is has been really tough on our oldest one.  I set her up in September to meet with the school social worker and it has been wonderful.  I am so glad we did it.  Sorry to ramble on, I just want you to know that if you have any other questions I would love to help.  I wish you all the best and take a deep breath and fight with all you have.  Let me know how you make out.   

Becky,

 I recently (about 2 weeks ago) received a phone call from my very best friend (whose name happens to be Becky as well) saying that her husband was just diagnosed with EC. Today she called to say that it is stage 4 and in his liver as well. He is also only 37 years old. They have 2 children, age 10 and 6. I believe that she isn't probably ready for this forum but eventually I will give her this site. I went looking for answers and what to say to her. I'm at a loss. When I found you, it was like God answering prayers...your name and your husband's age.

 How long has your husband been fighting this? She said tonight that she thinks about being alone with the kids and this was the first time she has said it out loud and now feel guilty as if she is "giving up" on him.

 We live about 2 hours away from each other and I just want to be near her right now and can't. What do you want to hear form your friends? What helps?

 Thanks for taking the time to write and share your expereince with others. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little ones at this time.

 Deb

Deb,

When I read your message it brought back so many fears.  My husband was dx in Sept. 06 and I will never forget the fears I had.  My husband has a bad gene and we always knew he would someday get some type of cancer, but when it happened so early we obviously were not ready at all.  He was never told a stage but with all I've read and what they have done I think he was at least stage 3.  The only good thing about him being young was that he was in other wise good shape so his doctors hit him hard. Chemo then surgery then radiation and then chemo again.  In September this year he had CT scan and it was clear, no sign of anything.  We were so excited to say the least!  He just had another scan done this week and we are going in today to find out the results.  I'm quite nervous just because he has not been feeling well lately, but we are staying positive. 

As far as letting her fear out, I did the same thing Becky did.  To my husband I was strong as an ox, but to my mother I cried and told her how scared I really was.  Don't get me wrong, he knew I was scared, but we could not let that fear live our lives.  We have 4 children, 10, 6, 4, and 1 and that is who of our hearts broke for.  Not being able to tell my kids that it would be fine was excruciating.  We were very honest with them and I called our school counselor and she helped out a lot.  How are Becky's children doing with all this?  We tried a lot to show them people who had cancer and are ok now.  That really did help alot. 

Friends and family are what have gotten us through the past year.  Whether it was a call, a prayer, a card or babysitting, we could not have done it without all of them.  Even just a call to chat and not talk about cancer was always nice, but just knowing that I could call whenever I needed to talk was so comforting.  He  had surgery 6 hours away from our home and that was so hard.  My parents stayed with my kids, and everyone around helped them with our kids.   

Anyway I'm not sure I have helped at all, but I totally feel for Becky and if I can do anything else, please let me know.  Take care and I will be thinking of you also.  Seeing someone you love in pain can be so unbearable. 

-Becky

Deb,

When I read your message it brought back so many fears.  My husband was dx in Sept. 06 and I will never forget the fears I had.  My husband has a bad gene and we always knew he would someday get some type of cancer, but when it happened so early we obviously were not ready at all.  He was never told a stage but with all I've read and what they have done I think he was at least stage 3.  The only good thing about him being young was that he was in other wise good shape so his doctors hit him hard. Chemo then surgery then radiation and then chemo again.  In September this year he had CT scan and it was clear, no sign of anything.  We were so excited to say the least!  He just had another scan done this week and we are going in today to find out the results.  I'm quite nervous just because he has not been feeling well lately, but we are staying positive. 

As far as letting her fear out, I did the same thing Becky did.  To my husband I was strong as an ox, but to my mother I cried and told her how scared I really was.  Don't get me wrong, he knew I was scared, but we could not let that fear live our lives.  We have 4 children, 10, 6, 4, and 1 and that is who of our hearts broke for.  Not being able to tell my kids that it would be fine was excruciating.  We were very honest with them and I called our school counselor and she helped out a lot.  How are Becky's children doing with all this?  We tried a lot to show them people who had cancer and are ok now.  That really did help alot. 

Friends and family are what have gotten us through the past year.  Whether it was a call, a prayer, a card or babysitting, we could not have done it without all of them.  Even just a call to chat and not talk about cancer was always nice, but just knowing that I could call whenever I needed to talk was so comforting.  He  had surgery 6 hours away from our home and that was so hard.  My parents stayed with my kids, and everyone around helped them with our kids.   

Anyway I'm not sure I have helped at all, but I totally feel for Becky and if I can do anything else, please let me know.  Take care and I will be thinking of you also.  Seeing someone you love in pain can be so unbearable. 

-Becky