Praying For A Miracle

In August my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer that had advanced to her liver. She had surgery to remove the colon cancer successfully but cancer was also discovered in the abdomen, which could only be partially removed. She began chemo treatments (aggressive) for the cancer in her liver and the cancer that could not removed. She has not been able to handle the chemo very well. She has had so many complications (blood clots in her lungs and groin, fluid on the lungs, needed a stint put in her urethra). She only had 5 chemo treatments before all the complications started. The cancer in her liver has actually grown and has spread to her lymph nodes. About 2 weeks ago they decided to try another approach to the treatments where she would have a pump (?) inserted and have 2 treatments for 2 days and then the pump is removed on the 3rd day. She was not even able to receive the 2nd treatment. They had given her adavan for pain and nausea. I think between the medication and the fact that she is so weak she fell on the way to the bathroom. She has been in the hospital for about 2 weeks now but is coming home today. She has not been able to eat much at all and what little she does eat quite often comes back up. If she cannot handle chemo they have said that there is nothing else they can do and that it is time for hospice. I would like for her to get another opinion and would love to be able to get her to CTCA for a consultation but I have 2 major problems in making this a possibility. First, I am not sure she is up to traveling to the center. Secondly, my father did discuss this with their primary physician who highly recommended not to. My father was told there is nothing that CTCA can do that we can't do, she has the best doctors in the area and we should not to give her false hope. It has only been 5 months since she was diagnosed with cancer. She is a person who ate healthy, exercised, never smoked and rarely drank and had no real symptoms until recently. Now that she is stronger and going home she has decided to try one more chemo treatment to see if she can tolerate it before she decides to accept that there is nothing left to try. I don't know what to think. Should I continue searching for solutions or should I back off? It is difficult to accept that there is truly no hope and I feel so helpless.

Vicki, my heart goes out to you and your mother. I too have colon cancer. It is recurring cancer, and has been found in three locations. This has been found in its earliest stage. I have begun oral chemo. I feel fine, and I have always been able to take chemo well. However, if I don't see results right away, I am heading for CTCA. In my opinion, if you don't try everything you possibly can to help your mom, you will always wonder if you made the right decision. I say go for it. What can it hurt? A little false hope is always better than no hope at all. Have you called CTCA? They will guide you through this. I haven't even gone there yet, but it is a great hope for me if I need it. Best wishes to you all.

Please if there is any chance for your mom - take it - don't wait until it is too late. As for the doctor saying there is nothing else they can do…they all say that sooner or later. There are other places and other treatments. There are things that can make it easier to tolerate the chemo. Things that most oncologists will not admit to, much less advise. I had just gotten an appointment for the man I love at CTCA and before I could get him there he went into the hospital to be treated for anxiety and they changed his medication and mixed medication until he was so messed up. Then the doctor here refused to treat him because he would not sign a DNR. They had given him Ativan and he was allergic to it. They gave it after being told this. As a result of the doctor refusing to treat him he never got the antidote and we were never even told about it. Instead of giving that to him they shipped him off to another hospital against his will and then they continued to give him pain medication to calm his anxiety. They gave him so much it killed him. They say it was the cancer but I know better I was there. I saw what ignoring the anxiety did. I saw what taking hope from him did. There are places like CTCA that don't take hope away and are willing to try other things. They treat the person and treat them like a person not a disease. Go for it please. If I had only known a week earlier I am convinced he would still be alive and I would not have this hole inside of me. I would not be questioning my judgment and my lack of action. It is a nightmare to live with everyday. I see him die over and over and I know it did not have to be that way. There is always some hope. It may be small but grab onto it and nurture it don't let anyone take it away. Lillian

Thanks Judy, it is very comforting to receive responses from such caring
people. I hope you continue to do well and are able win your battle with cancer. I have never been told the stage of my mom’s cancer but I have to assume it was not in the earliest stage since it had advanced to her liver. She was told in the very beginning that her cancer was treatable but not curable. If she did nothing was given 1 yr - 1 1/2yrs. So she opted for surgery and chemo treatments and has had nothing but complications. My mom is going to the doctor today to determine if she will be strong enough to continue with chemo. I am not sure that she should. She has been so strong in trying to fight this horrible disease that she is willing to consider going through chemo
one more time. I believe that nutritional support is very important but the little but she manages to eat comes back up. The doctors are stumped as to why she keeps vomiting. Her medications have been changed many times. They did another CAT scan and did not find any obstruction. They have determined it is related to the cancer. It has been at least 3 weeks since she has had a chemo treatment and she continues to vomit daily. I have talked with a CTCA representative and one of the biggest problems is the ability to get her there. I
am also looking into Healing Touch Therapy and still hoping for that miracle. Best wishes Judy and thanks again. -Vicki

Lillian, thanks so much for taking the time to respond to my message. It is so comforting to have people you don't even know to care so much. I am very sorry for your loss of your loved one. It is very painful to watch someone you love so much suffer like that. My mom was told in the very beginning that her cancer was treatable but not curable. If she did nothing was given 1 yr - 1 1/2yrs. So she opted for surgery and chemo treatments and has had nothing but complications. My mom is going to the doctor today to discuss whether she is strong enough to continue with chemo. I am not sure that she should. She is so weak already from not being able to eat much and the little bit she does eat eventually comes back up. How can she regain her strength and rebuild her immune system if she continues to vomit daily? I have talked with a CTCA representative and one of the biggest problems is the ability to get her
there safely. We have not given up yet!! Thanks again, Lillian. Take care.
-Vicki

Vicki, I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. I to have colon cancer stage 4. I have had three surgeries and 5 different chemo therapies. I fortunately have been able to tolerate any chemo they have given to me. I am 53 and still fairly healthy. If ever there comes a time I would try my best to get to CTCA. I read the book There's No Place Like Hope by Vickie Girard. Who was treated at CTCA. It sounds like the place to go if your mom gets strong enough to handle the trip. There is always hope as long as there is breath. I too pray for miracles. Take care and much love to you and you mom.

Linda, thank you very much. I hope your treatment continues to go well. Are you a patient a CTCA? What does stage 4 mean exactly? What type of surgery did you have? My mom and her doctor have decided not to continue with chemo. I must say I was somewhat relieved even though I know what that means. I am waiting for information being sent from CTCA on nutrition. I have mentioned that sugar is bad and should be eliminated from her diet. Her doctors have said to eat whatever she wants. I am so confused. I feel like a one-man band. My family has accepted that there is nothing left to do except make her as comfortable as possible until the end. I am afraid that this is true but I don't want to give up. Even if it is true I believe that through nutrition just maybe she could feel better, regain some of her strength and extend her time a little. She tries so hard but does not have much of an appetite. When I mentioned that she should avoid sugar she said there goes my donuts and frosted flakes. I felt bad, like I had robbed her of something. Her spirit is strong but she too has accepted that her cancer is terminal. If I continue to push hope it's as if I just can't accept that she is going to die and it is only making matters worse. I am not sure my family will listen because her doctors do not support value of nutrition. If I continue to push I will only upset my family and it may not make a difference anyway. If I don't... I feel so mixed up. My mind is going in circles. This has been one of the most difficult things I have experienced in this life so far but the support of caring individuals like yourself has been wonderful and very comforting. Thanks again Linda. -Vicki

Vicki the pump your talking about sounds like one of the treatments my wife receives 5FU. I don't know if all chemo treatments are the same or not but I know my wife receives two bags of some type of medication for nausea, plus an injection to help calm her before she receive her treatment of oxi and luco...then the 5fu after treatment her stomach is upset sometimes a little but she takes some type of pill before it gets to bad and that helps and her appetite is fine. If your mom is not receiving anything like I mentioned I be more than happy to call my doctor for you and find out what type of medication it is...hope this helps!
Tommy

Dear Vicky: it sounds as though your mom, and of course, you and your dad have certainly gone through so much...your mother with the treatments, and you and your dad watching her suffer. It is so difficult to watch someone you love so much suffer.
As a mother myself, and a Hospice Nurse, I was recently diagnosed with kidney cancer. My prognosis is also poor. My options are few. However, until I have exhausted all options, I want to try it all, mainly because I am only 52 years old.

The most important thing is I would not want to suffer, nor have my family see me suffer...But sometimes that is so unavoidable. Your mother has the option of doing one more chemo treatment, however, she also has the option to refuse. She may be doing this for you and may also have had enough. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you want to go through the same suffering as she is now? Yes you are praying for a miracle, the miracle may be that mom does not suffer any more and has no pain, and the equality of her life is good. Her quality of life is what is important now and the time you spend together. Make it good. Sometimes dying is the only option left and if you believe in God...know that God will be there when she does die to welcome her home.

Losing a mother is very difficult and of course, painful. I lost my mother l0 years ago to cancer, and I still miss her very much. However, she also suffered very much and I prayed for her death, because her quality of life no longer was appropriate for her, nor those who loved her. She was only 67. It is important to believe that those we love are as close to us as our hearts, therefore, never far away. Just can't see them, but are always with you. Take heart and pray for the courage to help mom die and you and your father be there for one another. Some day you will meet again. Hang in there, and pray for the miracle of everlasting life for your mother.
My prayers are with your mother and of course, you and your dad. God Bless.

Vickie:
You SHOULD NEVER GIVE UP! There is always hope. Get everyone you know to pray for her. Personally I would not go through another chemo - it is a toxic poison and it is not "correcting" the cause of the cancer. She can probably still beat this if her body is not too beaten down from the chemo, etc. Go to a bookstore and buy "Cancer Battle Plan" by Anne Frahm immediately. Read it then read it to her. Anne Frahm had cancer in every part of her body - she was about dead but she made it because drs. gave up on her and sent her home from the hospital to die. She beat it with nutrition, supplements, detoxification and prayer. As she says in her book, if she could beat it, anyone can! If you have not checked out Coral Calcium, get on the internet and read about it. Go to www.ncrf.org and read of all the people who have been cured using it. Get a nutritionist - quick! Personally, I'd forget the oncologist and go with the nutritionist. As your mom gets stronger, keep changing her diet so there is no sugar, lots of fiber and vegetables and beans for protein. Our oncologist told me that my husband didn't have a chance of beating his esophageal cancer and he is doing GREAT! We are doing major antioxidants (carrot juice, vitamin E (d-alpha which is natural), vitamin C (in powdered form - easier to digest) selenium, grapeseed and co-Q-10. Miracles DO happen - there are millions of people who have beat cancer when doctors have given them no hope! Don't let her give up - if she decides she's going to die, she will. Build her up - emotionally and physically. Tell her she will beat this and you will help her. Good luck and God bless! Judy T.