Just Diagnosed

My wife's father(72 and healthy) was just diagnosed with a T4 cancerous tumor in bottom of his mouth and it is in his jawbone and 2 lymph nodes. The surgeon explained to us that the surgery would be to remove the tumor and removing major portion of jaw bone and using a bone out of his leg to replace it.  Also that after the surgery he would most likely not be able to swallow for remainder of his life and would need to have a feeding tube.   This has all come about since the week before Christmas this past year(3 weeks)  This has been very devasting to a man who has never been sick in his life.  We have spoken to the surgeon once and will meet with him again tomorrow on 01/09/07.  We are not sure what ?'s to ask.  I feel the surgeon has been upfront about everything but I have no way of knowing. 

Can anyone suggest important ?'s we should ask before the surgery is started.  I am concerned and will ask if he will be able to speak.  Are there legal legals that we need to care to regarding a feeding tube. 

Thank you all, I just found this forum and really need advice.

Now that you've been properly diagnosed and past the initial shock, you will want to be operated on by the most competent and skilled surgeon that you can find.  You may want to contact teaching facilities to locate surgeons with the most experience with your type of surgery.  Seek out those that treat patients like you everyday.  If you are near NY, Dr. Mark Urken would a great choice.  Your goal should be a great outcome with the most function.  Ask how often they operate on similar patients.  If you don't get the feeling that this is just routine for them, ask whom they would go to if facing the same diagnosis.  You may also want to have a plastic surgeon assisting on the surgery.  Become an advocate and don't be concerned with "offending" anyone.  The decisions being made will be some of the most important and difficult of your lives.  Don't loose your focus.  Make educated decisions which will lead to higher comfort levels for all.  All my best for a great outcome.  We all know what your going thru and will be hoping for a great result.  You may want to check www.spohnc.org for some good contacts.

 Best Regards,

Rob J.