Update On Patty5's Mother

Hi Everybody,

            My mother is in T3N1MO stage. Due to her lung condition she can never have surgery. We saw oncologist on Tues. Now we have several appoints. to get her set up for chemo and radiation. She will have to have a feeding tube put in. It is so hard now and I know the hell is just beginning. Her Dr. says her prognosis is good. I now work 1 hour from my home 4 days a week. I am gone 12 1/2 hours a day those days. I work with my sister at her husbands business. My first reaction is I have to quit work to be with my mother. I think someone needs to be with her 24 / 7. She is 75 years old and I don't think she should ever have to drive herself. I want to be with her every step of the way. My sister does't want me to quit work. She says she will help. My sister says she just wants to think everything will be back to normal and Mama will be fine after treatment. I think my sister wants us to be able to still work together so we can support each other. She was crying today and said she might need me too. I don't know what to do. Mama lives with me and I want to spend every minute I can with her. I will ruin my credit if I quit work because we cannot pay all our bills on my husband check. I can rebuild credit but I could never get over not being with my Mom. I am not like my sister. I don't think everything will be OK in 6 mos after treatment. It is awful to deal with the thought of losing Mama and then to have other issues as well. Any advice? Does anyone have any info what to expect from radiation? The Dr said by the last 2 weeks Mama want be able to swallow  her throat will be so sore but it will go away. Sorry for rambling. This is an outlet. Thanks and my prayers and thoughts are still with everybody going through this. Pat

Patty everyone should be so lucky to have a daughter like you.  I would be the same way you are.  It sounds to me like you are the strong one to help hold up your family.  That is a great thing, but sometimes it gets overwhelming too.  I find myself needing time alone every once in a while to have my own little melt downs, so in a way I am supporting myself.  My husband did not have radiation, so I honestly don't have any experience seeing that.  I hope you all stay strong, but remember you can't do it all by yourself.  You will need help.  Being with your Mom is important right now, but you also have to live your life and not let the cancer live it for you.  Take care of your Mom as best you can, but don't feel bad if you are not with her at all times.  Sometimes you just can't do everything. 

Keep updating.

-Strong4him

Dear Patty,

I know how torn you are recently my mother who is 70 had a heart scare. She lives alone 3 hours away, very active lady and my best friend. I was in such a panic thinking about by -pass surgery and I couldn't possbily leave her alone. Thank God her heart is just fine. Then one week later we hear my FIL has EC. We are thankful the cancer has not spread but the surgery..... I would love to hear from people who have had the surgery and advice from them. Take care of yourself Patty. I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.

Janet