My 19 yr old son was diagnosed in Sept, 06 with ES, with metastasis in the lungs, He had back pain for about a month that went undiagnosed, doc thought he was just a teenager looking for pain meds.... 3 hospitals later and 3 weeks straight in the hospital, we got that gut wrenching news you never want to hear............. and so began our journey into the unknown, it certainly becomes another world, you find out who your friends are, and you are scared shitless about what is coming in the future.
I am sitting here tonite wondering if I am doing the right thing, If I am being a good enuff mom, am I making decisions that I will regret, Do I want to see him suffer so much just to have him here longer.......... MY MIND is reeeling with all sorts of confusing thoughts, I am sitting here typing while Rick is lying on the couch, being pain free, only because he is in a morphine induced stupor............. on tuesday this week he was taken off the vicodin and morphine pills and put on a Fentanyl patch and Roxonol, his pain isnt being controlled, just short spurts here and there.
Ricks tumor is located in the left hip bone, and had broken through the bone and is growing in his pelvic area, mostly on the left side, it has several lobes (multi-lobular), they are wrapped around the nerve bundle at the base of his spine, which causes him severe neuropathy in his left hip, leg and foot, cant even put a sheet on his foot. he has lost control of his bladder and bowel muscles, he must use his abdominal muscles to go to the bathroom, and accidents happen often, he cant tell most of the time if he has to go. he has been through 6 rounds of chemo so far, 3 - 5 days each time, every 3 weeks. we were doctoring at Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak Michigan, that is until last tuesday when we had to fire the doctor, they werent following the protocol, there was too much miscommunication with his staff, they sent him home on christmas day with a hole in his central line, ( no surgeons because of christmas) gee good thing it wasnt an emergency or something, this is just a short list of the problems we encountered while doctoring there, Rick and I had finally had enough and decided to find another DR, and this time closer to home, ( we had to travel 3 hrs, for treatments,) We should be hearing about an appointment at Sparrow Hospital in Lansing Michigan, either today or monday. I just worry so much because this puts his treatment even further behind, but I had to do something other than sit back and take thier abuse of the situation. I am not one to turn the other cheek too many times........... New Year, New Beginning,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we have visiting nurses in the home 2 times a week, and next week they are going to send in someone to help me with his baths and such, ( i am 5'4 and he is 6'3 I have a hard time helping him in and out of the shower, he is so unsteady because he cant walk well because of the leg and foot pain. I feel so alone, as no one in our area has ever heard of this kind of tumor and feel so lost as to what to do for him........ We got some of his mid treatment results back last week and the MRI shows that one side of the tumor has improved, while the one lobe on the right side has more than doubled in size........ not good news, but explains why he is now showing symptoms of neuropothy on the right side and is in so much more pain................ Blessings and Good thoughts to all of you........ May you find peace of mind............... and well wishes to your families
Mari