Thank you for your encouragement

4 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Thank you for your encouragement

by Evalyn on Sun Jan 14, 2007 12:00 AM

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Dear All,  Thank you for your words of understanding and encouragement.  I can't express how much it means to me to have you praying for us and empathisizing with me.  I feel stronger today by just reading your e-mails.  We do have the atrapin drops and we do suction, but neither seems to be helping.  It is as if the congestion is just parked in her throat and it gurggles.  I' so afraid she might "drown" in it.  We also give her breathing treatments with a nebulizer. It is the "Scalpoline" that was prescribed but we cannot get it any where.  If anyone knows where we can get some please let me know.  Mother continues to hang on.  I know she can't go on much longer.  She really sinks and I think we are going to lose her and then she kind of bounces back.  I do stay up with her all night as everyone else goes to bed, becuase I don't want her to "die alone", so I listen for every breath.  Mom has told us she is miserable, yesterday she asked Jesus to take her home.  When she is awake (rarely) she tries to talk and that really gets the cough going.  This is some journey.  Once agian thank you and know that my thoughts are with those of you that have already experienced your loss and those of you traveling wiht your loved one on this path.  Eva Lyn

RE: Thank you for your encouragement

by Alexia on Sun Jan 14, 2007 12:00 AM

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Hi Evalyn There are some signs to watch for that may give you a bit of warning when your mom may pass.Of course not every one goes by the book,but almost everyone does have some mottling sort of red blotchy skin her feet will get cold breathing pattern will change usually slows down.When these things occur death is usually hours away.i`m hoping maybe if you arenot seeing any of this possibly you could rest a little.But i do know how you feel i to stayed up most of the nite for the last week,unfortunately i couldn`t sleep during the day because of the kids.When my mom did pass i almost missed it.I just couldn`t keep my eyes open anymore.I had a hospice aid here so i layed down on the couch and 30 min. later she woke me and said something was not right and i ran in and said mom are you ok and she opened her eyes took a couple more breaths and that was it.I still feel horrible for lying down and missing the last 30 mins of her life.Something idid experience that was interesting was i had my hand on her forehead when she passed and i felt a strong tingling sensation on my hand.it was her energy leaving her body according to a stephen levine book i am reading.i guess that  proves that once energy is created it cannot be destroyed it only changes form.Take good care,i`m glad you can rest in the day.It is nice if you can curl up in bed with your mom, light some candles play some calming music and even if you fell asleep and she did by chance pass you would be there with her.Just a suggestion if you get so tired you can`t stay awake.I did this for 3 nites but the hospital bed was so small the last nite i just neede to stetch a little so i went to the couch and now i regret it.The aide had the tv on the light on it just wasn`t how i invisioned her passing.I did lay with her for about 6or7 hours afterward i just couldn`t let her go.If it wasn`t for the kids waking up she would prob. still be here!so we did have the time i invisioned after she passed which was niceShe looked so pretty and peaceful.It wasn`t scary at all just sad.Bye for now,Susan

RE: Thank you for your encouragement

by Midwestern on Sun Jan 14, 2007 12:00 AM

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Eva Lyn,

I wish there was more we could do or say to you to make you feel more comfort, but there isn't anything we can say or do.  I understand your feelings of how you "may miss her passing".  I felt the same, you just didn't know when the time would come.  You can only do so much, don't beat yourself up if you need a nap or some minutes to yourself.  It can drive you insane.  Believe me, I understand.  Fortunately I have a large family and we were able to all be there with her at different times.  It just happened that my brother drove in over the weekend to be there as we knew that her condition was worsening.  Never did we believe it would be end so quickly.  Maybe it was because Mom knew we were all there for her and once again, she didn't want to "inconvenience" any of us.  She handled her diagnosis, her surgery, and treatments with such grace and dignity it makes me wonder if I could ever do the same.  She had great faith in God and that was something that helped her through it all, along with her family being close to her.  I am so proud of her as I am sure you are of your mom.  You are a kind, devoted daughter that deserves better and so does your mom.  Your mom is the one that has made you into such a wonderful caring person.  That is why it is so very difficult to let them go, but they deserve better. 

If you can find comfort in knowing that your mom is "ready to go", please do.  My mom told me a couple of days before she died that she wished it were over.  I know she felt that all of us were suffering right along with her.  I just know that she knew we loved her and we told her she was the best mom we could've ever asked for, and she was.  It sounds to me that you feel the same towards your mom and I can bet she feels the same towards you.  I just wanted to take over for her, to relieve her suffering, so she wouldn't have to do it all alone.  But it's impossible.  I am sure your mom would not want to "live" this way either.  Our moms deserve better.  My mom needed  to be at peace because we knew there was no going back.  I pray for you and your mom that you will both find peace.  It sounds so cliche', but I really mean it. 

You continue to be there for her with all your love and support and you will have that to take with you the rest of your life.  KNOW that your Mom appreciates everything you are doing for her in her last days.  If it were the reverse, we would appreciate them being there for us as well. 

Take care and I am thinking of you with all my heart and prayers, I understand what you are going through.

MA

RE: Thank you for your encouragement

by Madeline_Ruth on Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:00 AM

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Eva Lyn, I have called everyone I know today trying to find the Trans-Derm Scop patches for you and no one has them. I called the company that makes them, and couldn't get professional affairs on the phone and had to leave a message. I hope to get a call tomorrow. Sometimes, the manufacturers will have drug in reserve for emergencies, and can overnight drugs to pharmacies. (This drug is usually used for motion sickness on cruises, so not usually an emergency such as the case here) I will check on this when they call me back, and if we can get it that way, I will get info from you to get Rx overnighted to your pharmacy. I will let you know Monday, so please check the board in the afternoon. I would need to be able to call your pharmacist that has your Rx if we can get it for you this way. If you will post your pharmacy name and city, I can take it from there if the company can send emergency supply. (I also would need your mom's name) Sending you love and much concern. Maddie Ruth
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