Second Opinion - No Hope There Either

my dad went to roswell in buffalo ny for 2nd opinion.  stage IV tumor that has spread to liver.  dr. here told him chemo only and just to make him comfortable.  dr in ny said 6mos is generous.  liver is too bad. 

i can not accept this!  he was a healthy man.  he beat bladder cancer five years ago.  there has to be something to do.  problem is he is so distraught and he doesn't feel too well either that he said no more opinions.  i wanted him to go to md anderson but he said that's all.  any advice for us?

Jackie - I responded again to "could someone offer some hope to us"

I say the same as Leon - You need someone willing to fight alongside you. Anything else is unacceptable. We are not wearing rose colored glasses or in denial - It is YOUR FATHERS DECISION to keep going. Had we listened to the docs at first - Kevin wouldn't be here today. Be fierce with the desire to keep going. Too many Doctors presented with this disease just don't seem to have the time for you. Demand they make the time. It goes wrongly diagnosed for months, then it's just too late? No, NO NO NO! Make them work for you, most important - You need to make them work with you. And if these docs won't, find the ones who will. You need just one oncologist willing to walk beside your Father in this struggle. They are out there. It is a tough and frightening journey - but to Kevin and I -  worth every tear, every frustration, every bad day.  And as long as your Dad agrees, he deserves nothing less. Keep going my friend - Choose to live by the choices YOU make - No One Elses. Sonda

On 1/16/2007 Lou38s wrote:

Jackie - I responded again to "could someone offer some hope to us"

I say the same as Leon - You need someone willing to fight alongside you. Anything else is unacceptable. We are not wearing rose colored glasses or in denial - It is YOUR FATHERS DECISION to keep going. Had we listened to the docs at first - Kevin wouldn't be here today. Be fierce with the desire to keep going. Too many Doctors presented with this disease just don't seem to have the time for you. Demand they make the time. It goes wrongly diagnosed for months, then it's just too late? No, NO NO NO! Make them work for you, most important - You need to make them work with you. And if these docs won't, find the ones who will. You need just one oncologist willing to walk beside your Father in this struggle. They are out there. It is a tough and frightening journey - but to Kevin and I -  worth every tear, every frustration, every bad day.  And as long as your Dad agrees, he deserves nothing less. Keep going my friend - Choose to live by the choices YOU make - No One Elses. Sonda

Wow. Thank you so much for writing that. I am fighting,as are others, for my life aginst ovarian cancer and the first chemo did not work. My dear Dr. told me 6 months and to go and live my life to the fullest. I am trying to get another opinion and you really have given me the kick in the pants I need to keep trying. I am in Moreno Valley, California so if anyone has any suggestions, please write. Thanks, Lori

You really need to keep searching for another opinion until you get the right answer.  I am a stage IV colon with mets to the liver.  I was originally told I could die at any moment, but had 18 months to live tops.  But several Dr.'s in the state I live.  I looked up the best Dr.'s for colon cancer and came upon ones at the University of Minnesota.  That was over 2 years ago.  I came through surgeries and chemo with flying colors and returned to work while on chemo.  The drive was long, the weather bad, but it was worth it to be alive and doing well today. 

Here is a web site that lists the top 50 hospitals for cancer.  When you have cancer, it's important to get good health care.

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/health/best-hospitals/rankings/

Here is a letter by Richard Bloch I liked it because my some of my friends meant well, but they thought I was crazy to travel 8 hours out of my way for treatment.  Some of my friends felt any hospital and Dr. would do. 

http://www.blochcancer.org/

Let us know how we can help

thank you for your response.  that letter was awesome.  very inspirational.  i do have the hope but i'm afraid my dad feels it's meant to be.  he is not well right now.  very weak.  when the 2nd doc told him his prognosis, he resigned himself to the fact that this is god's will.  he says that he is too weak to fight.  and because two good doctors have told him the same thing, he feels there is no need to continue searching.  when your cancer spread to the liver, was it just a few spots?  my dad's is pretty bad.  many tumors.  and this is what the doc dwelled upon.  liver cancer is bad and you have it bad...etc.  so my dad accepted this as truth and that's that. 

i may try to call the cancer line and just see what they have to say.  thank you for this suggestion.  continued blessings to you.