My Husband

My husband of 16 wonderful years, was diagosed in July with EC cancer w/ mets to liver and lymph nodes.  He has taken several rounds of chemo including cis/fu5 and taxol.  The last scans this month shows the cancer is still growing.  My biggest fear, is I don't know what to expect next.  I know that there is no cure for this type of cancer, and sometimes I wonder if we are doing the right thing even taking the chemo.  Last night he was in a good deal of pain, this scares me to death. 

Rudy101,

My Father was diagnosed back in June of 2006, he tried the Chemo and it did not work on him either, so they tried Tarceva, which is a type of chemo that is supposed to make the cancer be at a stand still, but the side effects were to much for him to handle, he figured his quality of life was not where he wanted it to be, so the family and Dad opted for Hospice at home, Hospice came in in December 2006, they made life for him with little pain through Delauded and Morphine, on the day he passed, 01/12/2007 we were all with him, now there is no more pain for him. I know this is very hard to deal with, and hope is a main thing, and there are stories out there of Cancer going into remission, but in my Dad's situation, we were just happy to have had him for the time we did. I know this reply is not very uplifting or comforting, and I hope it does not happen this way to you and yours. I can go into more detail if you want, but at this time I will leave that up to you. You and yours will be in my thoughts, I know what you are experiencing

Rudy - Sent a private reply in response.

 

On 1/19/2007 Tom48 wrote:

Rudy101,

My Father was diagnosed back in June of 2006, he tried the Chemo and it did not work on him either, so they tried Tarceva, which is a type of chemo that is supposed to make the cancer be at a stand still, but the side effects were to much for him to handle, he figured his quality of life was not where he wanted it to be, so the family and Dad opted for Hospice at home, Hospice came in in December 2006, they made life for him with little pain through Delauded and Morphine, on the day he passed, 01/12/2007 we were all with him, now there is no more pain for him. I know this is very hard to deal with, and hope is a main thing, and there are stories out there of Cancer going into remission, but in my Dad's situation, we were just happy to have had him for the time we did. I know this reply is not very uplifting or comforting, and I hope it does not happen this way to you and yours. I can go into more detail if you want, but at this time I will leave that up to you. You and yours will be in my thoughts, I know what you are experiencing

Thank you so much for your response.  I do have a few questions, if you don't mind.  There are days that my husband has energy to do a few things, and there are days he can just manage to get out of bed.  Was it like this with your dad?  Keith's pain is mainly in his right side and shoulder.(They call it referal pain).  Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Like I said in my first email, its the "unknown" that scares me.  thanks  rudy101

Hi Rudy,

 Yes my Dad had days when he felt good enough to move around and do things, and he had bad days, his pain was mostly in his right hip, they figured the cancer meted into his hip, which is where he already had arthritus, we talked to the Dr and he icreased the pain meds on his bad days. In my Dads case, on 01/06/07 he had his grand children over for a birthday party, he ate pizza, posed for pictures with the kids, and joked around, on 01/09/07, he was in a hospital bed at home, in which he never raised from. We have 3 nurses in our family, 2 RN and 1 LPN, which are my sisters, they were with him his final week, so any questions I had about Dad were promtly answered, they told me what to watch for in the final days of life. I am sorry that I am straight forward in my answers, I dont agree with people when they say to pray and trust in God, praying is fine, but it will not give you the answers you seek, I wanted to know all about the final days, then I prayed for peace for him. Please feel free to ask any more questions you might have, I know every case is different, but they almost all end up the way of my Dad. I do care about you and your husband, it really helps when people you don't know, care.

Tom48

WHAT IS EC CANCER?HOPE THINGS ARE GOING WELL FOR YOU.

Esophgeal Cancer

 

On 1/22/2007 Tom48 wrote:

Hi Rudy,

 Yes my Dad had days when he felt good enough to move around and do things, and he had bad days, his pain was mostly in his right hip, they figured the cancer meted into his hip, which is where he already had arthritus, we talked to the Dr and he icreased the pain meds on his bad days. In my Dads case, on 01/06/07 he had his grand children over for a birthday party, he ate pizza, posed for pictures with the kids, and joked around, on 01/09/07, he was in a hospital bed at home, in which he never raised from. We have 3 nurses in our family, 2 RN and 1 LPN, which are my sisters, they were with him his final week, so any questions I had about Dad were promtly answered, they told me what to watch for in the final days of life. I am sorry that I am straight forward in my answers, I dont agree with people when they say to pray and trust in God, praying is fine, but it will not give you the answers you seek, I wanted to know all about the final days, then I prayed for peace for him. Please feel free to ask any more questions you might have, I know every case is different, but they almost all end up the way of my Dad. I do care about you and your husband, it really helps when people you don't know, care.

Tom48

Hello Tom48,

I have been utilizing this site for sometime for the support however have never "joined."  My father was diagnosed with EC 4 years ago.  He has had surgery, chemo & radiation (2 times) and has started again with low doses of chemo because his last PET Scan showed cancer in the stomach.  He moved to his house in the mountains (Mass.) and my sister and I live in FL.  I hate that he is so far away and his wife is telling us now that he has lost more weight (he is approx. 99 lbs, from 215 when diagnosed), he is falling and he is swollen from his groin down as well as his face.  He will not share with us anything as far as what patches he has for meds and what exactly the Dr. says.  He is a very proud man.  He has had terrible pain in his abdomen however the pain patches are helping.  My dad's wife doesn't think he is going to make it through the next two weeks and my sister and I plan to fly there next Friday (2/2) to see him one last time (from what we are being told).  We are both not sure what to think because some days he sounds so strong and says he slept through the night etc... and other days he can barely talk.  I guess I  am hoping if someone who has been through this can tell me if we need to go right away.  My mother died of brain cancer 10 years ago and it was different than my dad's battle.  I do not want my dad to die without me seeing him one last time.  The other issue is he does not want ANYONE to see him like this and his wife said for us to come and she wouldn't tell him until the day we arrive.  I do not want to dishonor my dad.  Any advise?

 

 

Hi Michelle,

I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's condition. Is your Dad home with Hospice? I would think his pain patches were Morphene, they work good as long as they are not over bone. Near the end my Dad started swelling and lost his balance, Hospice decided to bring in a bed, they thought he might break a bone in a fall. I think from my Dad's viewpoint, he only wanted family with him, he also was a proud man and did not want others to see him in such a vulnerable state. My advise is to go see him even though he says no, you will then be able to tell him the things that are in your heart, this is the hard part, we go on living, and we have to live with what we do and didn't do, personally, I was with my Dad when he passed two weeks ago, and the feelings I have inside of being with him, telling him how much I loved him, and telling him its ok to go, now give me a little peace within. I wanted to be sure that I did not have any regrets, and I do not. I hope I have helped you in some way, and if I upset you in any way, I am sorry.

 

On 1/22/2007 Tom48 wrote:

Hi Rudy,

 Yes my Dad had days when he felt good enough to move around and do things, and he had bad days, his pain was mostly in his right hip, they figured the cancer meted into his hip, which is where he already had arthritus, we talked to the Dr and he icreased the pain meds on his bad days. In my Dads case, on 01/06/07 he had his grand children over for a birthday party, he ate pizza, posed for pictures with the kids, and joked around, on 01/09/07, he was in a hospital bed at home, in which he never raised from. We have 3 nurses in our family, 2 RN and 1 LPN, which are my sisters, they were with him his final week, so any questions I had about Dad were promtly answered, they told me what to watch for in the final days of life. I am sorry that I am straight forward in my answers, I dont agree with people when they say to pray and trust in God, praying is fine, but it will not give you the answers you seek, I wanted to know all about the final days, then I prayed for peace for him. Please feel free to ask any more questions you might have, I know every case is different, but they almost all end up the way of my Dad. I do care about you and your husband, it really helps when people you don't know, care.

Tom48

My husband is 57 and has stage IV esph. cancer. He is experiencing pain in his hip and shoulder and spine. He has been getting chemo, which has not affected him too badly.

 For the last week he has been running a high temp but when they checked him into hospital they found his white count fine, and said he had a random virus and they could find nothing to indicate an infection, so sent him home. Since then he has lost his voice completely, has the chills so badly his lips turn blue, ( like he just ate blueberries blue), and his fever is at 102.5..he has been very agitated and vomiting all day. He complains his stomache and throat feel like he swallowed acid...and his doctor is saying to wait until tomorrow for him to come in and be checked.

His cancer is also  in his liver and lungs and traveling up his wind pipe, but no one has said what to look for and when to rush him into the hospital...

Also,  no one has told me what to expect in the final days of this horrible turn of events in our loves. What do I look for, how do I recognize what is going on? Is there a web site or a national line I can call for help. His doctor's office promises counseling and all questions answered, but never gets back to me. HELP anyone with the knowledge of what to expect ...