Just found out

Hi everyone I am going through hell my fiance just found out he has Pancreatic cancer end of Dec 2006 he is going in for the Whipple Operation Jan 29

 My worry is that when he went into the hospital to treat the dehydration and Jaundice and that was when we found out it was PC he was narly and mean which is not like his character.   He complained about pain from just the IV, I bumped his foot he complained My worry is the pain from this surgery will be far worse to handle....I try not to take this personally but he has withdrawn from me in every way I live in the other room now, he doesn't talk to me much, we don't sleep together and all he says Is I want to make sure you are taken care of but he doesn't talk of hope only as though he has this day of his death and he plans around it...I was angry when he did not do the operation right away just because he said I am not emotionally ready for it...Problem is now we have lost a month and I worry if it is aggressive tumor it will spread in that time am I correct on that?

We seem to go through strange emotions up and down.  I keep hoping maybe it isn't a tumor maybe the mass is a gall stone or something am I kidding myself?  Any suggestions and can anyone tell me what the Whipple is like that has had it done to them and what I can expect or how I should be as a caregiver?

On 1/21/2007 Lakemtg wrote:

Hi everyone I am going through hell my fiance just found out he has Pancreatic cancer end of Dec 2006 he is going in for the Whipple Operation Jan 29

 My worry is that when he went into the hospital to treat the dehydration and Jaundice and that was when we found out it was PC he was narly and mean which is not like his character.   He complained about pain from just the IV, I bumped his foot he complained My worry is the pain from this surgery will be far worse to handle....I try not to take this personally but he has withdrawn from me in every way I live in the other room now, he doesn't talk to me much, we don't sleep together and all he says Is I want to make sure you are taken care of but he doesn't talk of hope only as though he has this day of his death and he plans around it...I was angry when he did not do the operation right away just because he said I am not emotionally ready for it...Problem is now we have lost a month and I worry if it is aggressive tumor it will spread in that time am I correct on that?

We seem to go through strange emotions up and down.  I keep hoping maybe it isn't a tumor maybe the mass is a gall stone or something am I kidding myself?  Any suggestions and can anyone tell me what the Whipple is like that has had it done to them and what I can expect or how I should be as a caregiver?

How old is he?  My mother had the whipple last April, she is 74.  It was two weeks of hospital recovery in which her emotions ran high and low.  it is frightening as can be.  She then had chemo, radiation, and more chemo, all summer and all fall.  She had a CT scan after Christmas, and it was clean.  No more treatment for 3 months!   I cannot say that she is healed, but she is optimistic--and optimism regarding PC can be hard to find.  Good luck to you. 

Lakemtg,

I don't know if I can be of much help but my husband also has pancreatic cancer and had the Whipple done in 2004.  I am not going to sugar coat it, it is one of the worst surgeries to go through. It is very important to have it done by the best surgeon you can find, one who does many of them, not a general surgeon.  My husband had his done at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.  If your finace has pancreatic cancer it is probably his only hope.  I can't believe his Dr. has allowed him to wait this long.  My husband had follow up chemo and radiation for a year following the surgery.  He then had a full year of feeling pretty good.  Sadly, in August 2006 he had a rectal tumor removed and it was found to be a metasteses of the pancreatic cancer and there were several other spots that cannot be removed.  He is again on chemo and has an ileostomy as a result of the latest surgery. I guess your fiance has to decide whether to give in to this terrible disease or fight for his life.  I know that my husband and I would not have had these last two years if he had not had the Whipple surgery.  Most people who have PC don't last more than a few months.  If your fiance is a candidate for Whipple surgery then the disease must be in the early stages.  It's definitely worth fighting.  Depression is hard to deal with.  I know at one point I had to get tough with my husband and tell him that I was willing to do whatever I had to do to help him through this but I could not do it if he was going to act hatefull toward me.  He is normally a very upbeat person and I knew it was depression making him act that way.  I hope you and your fiance can talk this out, you'll need each other to get through this.  He must have the Whipple done but it will be tough going.  I wish you the best.

Janice

On 1/21/2007 Lakemtg wrote:

Hi everyone I am going through hell my fiance just found out he has Pancreatic cancer end of Dec 2006 he is going in for the Whipple Operation Jan 29

 My worry is that when he went into the hospital to treat the dehydration and Jaundice and that was when we found out it was PC he was narly and mean which is not like his character.   He complained about pain from just the IV, I bumped his foot he complained My worry is the pain from this surgery will be far worse to handle....I try not to take this personally but he has withdrawn from me in every way I live in the other room now, he doesn't talk to me much, we don't sleep together and all he says Is I want to make sure you are taken care of but he doesn't talk of hope only as though he has this day of his death and he plans around it...I was angry when he did not do the operation right away just because he said I am not emotionally ready for it...Problem is now we have lost a month and I worry if it is aggressive tumor it will spread in that time am I correct on that?

We seem to go through strange emotions up and down.  I keep hoping maybe it isn't a tumor maybe the mass is a gall stone or something am I kidding myself?  Any suggestions and can anyone tell me what the Whipple is like that has had it done to them and what I can expect or how I should be as a caregiver?