Can Anyone Help With Advice?

My father is 76 and we have been told he has stage 3 Multiple Myeloma. He has kidney failure(on dialysis) and has several lesions, on insulin just recently for diabetes and weighs 123 lbs(5'5) He is now on chemotherapy and in a rehab facility in Florida (his sons are in PA). We have been told he will be able to fly in a week but cannot be guaranteed anything after that as far as travel.

Can a son and wife who both work full time, have a cat, dog and 5 year old son realistically provide adequate care in our house or do we seriously need to consider an assisted living home. My mom is 68 but not able to do any physical lifting due to arthritis in her hands. I am hearing so many stories about how we cannot take adequate care despite our best intentions and that he would receive far superior care with a good assisted nursing/rehab center where he can have better round the clock coverage.

If we can provide our own home care what do we need to think of? (special hospital bed, changing bathrooms to have handles, no steps, no pets, etc?) We are very scared and want what is best for him. The doctors in Florida are very hard to reach from here as they are always busy and difficult to connect with or don't have enough time to discuss eveything with us.

Please help with any advice if possible as we don't know what a typical week is like outside a hospital with a stage 3 myeloma patient.

 

Sincerely,

Marc- Philadelphia,PA 

 

I would say this mostly depend on your dad and his performance status.  Is he otherwise healthy?  Can he drive? Walk? Pretty much take care of himself?  I dont think the MM will be too much of a burden, by itself.  Its a relatively slow growing cancer.  Obviously he needs to get to dialysis and chemo treatments on a regular basis, but I would say if he is in good health, except for his MM, you could do it.  Im sure it would help his emotional state to be with family.

I would have to agree with the doctor/nurse that responded to your post. The thing about cancer patients from a care providers point of view is that they all suffer a loss of control. They cant control the cancer, or the chemo, or the symptoms of the treatment, they can not control the prognosis. But, what they have at home, their family life, now there is something that they can control, and feel normal in. Cancer is not easy for anyone, but if you all pull together and become a team including your dad, i am confident that great things can be accomplished. Take it a day at a time, and breathe. you will all be in my prayers, Shawna Gunter

 It is not realistic. This disease deteriorates so quickly at this age.  It is a 24 hour 7 day a week job.  I was an RN and a Multiple Myeloma patient.  It wore my husband out and I had stage 4. You need a facilityt to care for him.  This will not work..Visit him yes..Take him things make him comfortable.  The reason he is on dialysis as he has hypocalcemia which causes kidney failure.  Now I had that an no dialysis.  Why I took Poly MVA but it is expensive and you pay out of your own pocket.  I was admitted to the hospital delerious, Kidney failure (which caused my condition) 4 days later went home without  dialysis and 80% kidney function. This stuff allowed my kidneys to work.  I am younger, and that helped but believe me this disease deteriorates quickly.

Anyone interested can go to www.polymva.com

 

You need an open minded doctor and a lot of faith.  Hope this helps. I know you asked only about care but I threw in that other in case you were inerested.

On 1/25/2007 Marc r wrote:

My father is 76 and we have been told he has stage 3 Multiple Myeloma. He has kidney failure(on dialysis) and has several lesions, on insulin just recently for diabetes and weighs 123 lbs(5'5) He is now on chemotherapy and in a rehab facility in Florida (his sons are in PA). We have been told he will be able to fly in a week but cannot be guaranteed anything after that as far as travel.

Can a son and wife who both work full time, have a cat, dog and 5 year old son realistically provide adequate care in our house or do we seriously need to consider an assisted living home. My mom is 68 but not able to do any physical lifting due to arthritis in her hands. I am hearing so many stories about how we cannot take adequate care despite our best intentions and that he would receive far superior care with a good assisted nursing/rehab center where he can have better round the clock coverage.

If we can provide our own home care what do we need to think of? (special hospital bed, changing bathrooms to have handles, no steps, no pets, etc?) We are very scared and want what is best for him. The doctors in Florida are very hard to reach from here as they are always busy and difficult to connect with or don't have enough time to discuss eveything with us.

Please help with any advice if possible as we don't know what a typical week is like outside a hospital with a stage 3 myeloma patient.

 

Sincerely,

Marc- Philadelphia,PA