He's Gone And I Feel So Lost Without Him

I have posted a few messages on here when I was caring for my father. Dad lost his battle on Jan. 20th I was his comfort though it all from first diagnosis in May of 2003. Went to every appointment and every treatment. When we brought him home with hospice He asked me to move back home and take care of him, they gave him 2 weeks. He made it 6 weeks. I will always cherish being there for him. We had a lot of late night talks and very precious time together. It still doesn't make it any easier. I MISS HIM SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! I have a wonderful husband and children who are very supportive but I don't even now how to feel so how can they now how to help me . Thanks for listening

 

On 2/5/2007 Daddys Girl #6 wrote:

I have posted a few messages on here when I was caring for my father. Dad lost his battle on Jan. 20th I was his comfort though it all from first diagnosis in May of 2003. Went to every appointment and every treatment. When we brought him home with hospice He asked me to move back home and take care of him, they gave him 2 weeks. He made it 6 weeks. I will always cherish being there for him. We had a lot of late night talks and very precious time together. It still doesn't make it any easier. I MISS HIM SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! I have a wonderful husband and children who are very supportive but I don't even now how to feel so how can they now how to help me . Thanks for listening

 

Just concider yourself furtunate. I lost my young wife to ovarian cancer , and I have no one to talk too

I am so sorry you lost your dad. There is such a special bond between parent and child, and we feel so lost when they aren't here anymore. I lost my partner to cervical cancer in November, and I can tell you that grief is a process and there isn't any way I've found to speed it up. It's ok to feel lost. I talk to my partner all the time, because I think she's still around, keeping an eye on me. I encourage you to talk to your dad. I also pray a lot for comfort, and that helps so much. I'm not sure we ever get over these losses. In fact, I'm sure we don't, but we do somehow survive them.

 

On 2/5/2007 Daddys Girl #6 wrote:

I have posted a few messages on here when I was caring for my father. Dad lost his battle on Jan. 20th I was his comfort though it all from first diagnosis in May of 2003. Went to every appointment and every treatment. When we brought him home with hospice He asked me to move back home and take care of him, they gave him 2 weeks. He made it 6 weeks. I will always cherish being there for him. We had a lot of late night talks and very precious time together. It still doesn't make it any easier. I MISS HIM SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! I have a wonderful husband and children who are very supportive but I don't even now how to feel so how can they now how to help me . Thanks for listening

Dear Daddys Girl,

   I lost my father to cancer last May and it was terrible. We were very close, and I too spent his last days/weeks with him.  I know the feeling of loss - 9 months later, I can't bear to think about it. Nobody knows how to feel in these circumstances - for a while I was angry at everything. I tried to be 'normal' but couldn't because I felt so dead inside. Then I gave myself permission to feel whatever I happened to be feeling - sad, happy, moody - anything. Not repressing feelings made it easier.

 So my suggestion is to not feel pressured to be cheerful around others, or try to "cheer up" to please others. Just let them know this is a difficult time for you. The mind takes its own time to heal, so give it some time. Talk with people if you feel like it - if you want to be quiet for a while, take recourse to solitude also. Praying/meditation helps. A good cry helps too. Take care.

I feel for you...deeply.  I have no advice for you, but I know what you are feeling.  You are an amazing daughter and your father surely appreciated every moment that you spent with him during his battle. 

Your post brought tears to my eyes as I can almost feel your pain.  My father passed in August.  I think of him everyday.  For the first few months, I spent several hours a day thinking about him.  I view his passing as unfair and sometimes it makes me very upset.  With that said, those moments have grown to be fewer in the past months, and I anticipate that they would subside further as time goes on.  I'm comforted by the felling that my life is an extension of his.  I am also thankful for my family and friends.  My feelings for my father and my experience with his battle have motivated me to be the most supportive friend, brother, son, husband, random(in this case) that I can be...maybe someone else can benefit from the experience that I (we) have been through? 

You are stronger than you know.  =)

 

On 2/5/2007 Daddys Girl #6 wrote:

I have posted a few messages on here when I was caring for my father. Dad lost his battle on Jan. 20th I was his comfort though it all from first diagnosis in May of 2003. Went to every appointment and every treatment. When we brought him home with hospice He asked me to move back home and take care of him, they gave him 2 weeks. He made it 6 weeks. I will always cherish being there for him. We had a lot of late night talks and very precious time together. It still doesn't make it any easier. I MISS HIM SOOOOO MUCH!!!!! I have a wonderful husband and children who are very supportive but I don't even now how to feel so how can they now how to help me . Thanks for listening

Although I was not there every step of the way for my Dad like you were, I was one of the caregivers to my Dad during his battle with cancer and I lost my Daddy to cancer too.  I am 23 years old and it was a year and a half ago.  A part of me died the day that he did.  I will never be the same.  I feel your pain in the missing him so much and feeling lost, all I've known to do is continue the fight for him, keep myself busy, volunteer, and work my butt off for things I believe in.  That's my best advice to you.  The grief comes in waves and you will have good/bad days but you WILL get through this.  I thought my life would be over if I lost him and even though it was in a way, I also know I have an extra guardian angel now and he gives me that extra push to keep going.  I will keep you and your family in my prayers.  Just remember how lucky you were to have all of those good times with him and to have experienced his love and joy at all.  He wants you to be happy, live your life, and love more than you possibly can.  He wants to remembered for his amazing life, not the awful disease.  Just keep those things in mind.  My heart goes out to you and I pray that you find peace in the midst of your pain.

I understand how you feel. My father died nearly 18 years ago and I still miss him. I especially wish he was here to see his grandsons, notw mostly grown, and let them benefit from knowing him. I tell my sons about him often.

The first days, weeks, and months are very difficult. As with everything else, it does get easier as time passes. But I know you will never forget him. The best thing you can do now is raise your children to be strong and honest, and tell them often about their grandfather.

Take care.

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I lost my Daddy to this horrible disease also.  I was with him every step of the way, his surgery, and then every appointment, every treatment.  Every time the reality hits that he is really gone, I get such a horrible pain in my chest.  I miss him terribly, as do my children.  I always thought he would dance at my kids' weddings.  He was too  young, and not ready to go, and I was definitely not ready to lose him.  Try to get some comfort in knowing that you were there for him and did everything you possibly could.  People keep telling me that it will get easier, but so far it hasn't, and it's been almost 9 months.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Dear Daddy's girl;

I know it's not easy, I also lost my father, 6 years ago, he died in my arms.  You may think I am crazy but as soon as he passed away I felt that I need to do something for him and I started working as a volunteer in a Pediatric department in a Cancer Hospital.  My husband support me but thought it was going to be hard because I will keep thinking of him.  At the beginning was hard, but I learned so many things about the disease, I saw so much strength on kids, kids are pure and innocent, they are so strong inside and out.  Once a week I'll go and give them all my love, I'll walk away receiving so much from them too, their smile as soon as they see me walking in the room, their strength, and love.  It help me heal so much, and I think I become a better mother, spouse, a better human being.

Soon I also realized that my dad is not physically here, but he is always at my side, I can feel him, I can smell him, I talk to him.  I also think that he didn't suffer so much for nothing, there was a meaning and a reason for his disease.  That made rethink about life and I decide to change my career and focus on helping other people, I become a Cancer Exercise Specialist and a Personal Trainer, I love to help other people to build stronger healthy bodies, to help them recover after surgery, to gain back their strength, to stay strong on their rounds of chemo, etc.

Your dad will never leave you, he will always guide you and stay by your side, he will give you strength, don't lose faith, pray, and give to others and, I don't mean money, give love, time, listen, forgive.

You are not alone.

My prayers go out to you and your family.  I lost my Dad in Dec of 2004.  Hold unto your memories next to your heart.  In time, your heart will heal.  My 2 yr. son has my fathers and my husbands name so I am constantly reminded of my father.  It's really weird because my husband and I will make comments that my son is just like his grandfather.  I regret that my child will never get to hug his grandfather.  But with my memories he will know everything about him.  I don't know how long it takes for the pain to go away but remember that you are not alone.  I shed tears for you to comfort you and give you a big hug.  I don't know if I was ever was "Daddy's girl" but my memories of him now makes me feel like "Daddy's gir"l.   Take Care & God Bless.  Aloha, Paulette