Hey There,
Just wanted to offer you some moral support and tell you and your dad to hang in there. I had an iliostomy for more than a year and it's now been 9 months since my reversal.
When I first got the iliostomy, I was so afraid to EAT anything, that I too lost 20 pounds. Then I got so hungry, I decided I would eat a little and see if it made it thru that small opening. Of course, it did. I don't know if your dad has some psychological reasons for not eating, but I did. So re-assure him that many of us have been there and made it through and he will also.
The recovery period may be slow, but he will make it. Every month he will begin to notice he is getting better and better. Our bodies are miracles. They adjust to whatever we put before them.
Prayer, faith and a positive attitude are the BEST MEDICINE. I am not a great religious person, but trust me. All these help. Surround your dad with familiy and friends who are uplifting in their thoughts and prayers and it will all be good.
Best of luck, :)