Hello all,
It's been a while - I think the last time i posted was back in September ot October.
My brother died in early November. He had stage 4 esophegeal cancer in May adn was given 3 months. He had 4 courses of chemo treatments which took place from June-August. In September they discovered that some tumors had shrunk and some had grown so they stopped treatment. The tumors began to grow again and his esophagus closed completely by mid-October. The Doctors decided that they would try a stent. The stent caused bleeding - which put pressure on his heart. In the end, his heart, damaged by the chemo, failed and he died. I do realize that if his heart hadn't failed - something else... maybe a more painful process... would have taken him, so I have no regrets about decisions made.
My sister-in-law and I were with him for the final 5 days and nights of his life-it was difficult but I wouldn't have changed it for anything. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life - as a birth is an intensely happy experience, this was an intensely sad experience... for me it forced me to be fully present and brought life sharply into focus.
Now, four months after, I think about him every day. I am feel grateful and and thankful that he was in my life, even thought I would have wanted him to be around longer (I am 53 yrs old and he was 54 yrs old).
I wish you all strength in the journeys you are on and thank you for your support,
Sue