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My Brother Passed Away...

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Subject: My brother passed away...
Date: 02/20/2007

Hello all,

It's been a while - I think the last time i posted was back in September ot October.  

My brother died in early November.  He had stage 4 esophegeal cancer in May adn was given 3 months.   He had 4 courses of chemo treatments which took place from June-August.  In September they discovered that some tumors had shrunk and some had grown so they stopped treatment.  The tumors began to grow again and his esophagus closed completely by mid-October.  The Doctors decided that they would try a stent.   The stent caused bleeding - which put pressure on his heart.  In the end, his heart, damaged by the chemo, failed and he died.  I do realize that if his heart hadn't failed - something else... maybe a more painful process... would have taken him, so I have no regrets about decisions made.

My sister-in-law and I were with him for the final 5 days and nights of his life-it was difficult but I wouldn't have changed it for anything.   It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life - as a birth is an intensely happy experience, this was an intensely sad experience... for me it forced me to be fully present and brought life sharply into focus. 

Now, four months after, I think about him every day.  I am feel grateful and and thankful that he was in my life, even thought I would have wanted him to be around longer (I am 53 yrs old and he was 54 yrs old). 

I wish you all strength in the journeys you are on and thank you for your support,

Sue    

 

Subject: RE: My brother passed away...
Date: 02/20/2007
One thing cancer will never ever take from any of us, is courage. And we all have that. None of us, though,  could ever imagine the strength and courage, that those we love who are battling this, have to find within themselves to get through it. It's a gift they have always had, and we on the outside have always felt from them. I think maybe, because we know of thier determintation and strength, that we can make it through.We become able to make sure we show the same determination and ability to get through, the same they would , if it were one of us going through the same. God Bless you - We are truly sorry for your loss - And as we search for Why, but never ask, I am sure we all find the answer someday, when we need it most. Love to you and a big hug
Subject: RE: My brother passed away...
Date: 02/21/2007

Dear Sue,

             My heart goes out to you. I lost my brother to a sudden heart attack 3 years ago. I remember how painful it was. I could not go one second of the day without thinking about him being gone. Over time the pain does ease and I think more about the good times. I still miss him everyday. Now my mama has this awful esophageal cancer. I know I have hard times ahead but I will face it just like you and others that have so much strength and courage.  Thank you for coming back to the site to update us. I hope you have happy times ahead that help you find peace and joy. Pat

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