Very Sad Daughter

My dad is being such a trooper, but I know he is scared and depressed. He cries and tells us he is sorry. I told him to never ever apologize for crying....... I on the other hand cannot grasp this news and not to mention my whole life turning upside down. Help me...carlee

Hello - I am a very sad daughter too! My mom is battling lung cancer. She is being so strong. I can't even imagine what it's like to know that you have cancer growing inside of you. I can only watch, feeling helpless from the outside. We just got bad news about 2 weeks ago and I have been reeling since. It's been up and down for about 18 months - and I feel like I go through stages where I feel like I cry every day.

I'm an only child, and my mom raised me on her own. She's perfectly healthy and young and it drives me crazy to see her sick like this!

All I can say is to just be there for your family. It's okay to cry together - but make sure you have laughs together too. And find friends and other activities to distract you to keep you strong for your dad. I find that I cry a lot to my friends and my husband and it helps me stay strong and positive with my mom as much as possible.

I have also taken charge and have been researching ways to help. It makes me feel like I'm giving back somehow.

My thoughts are with you. Be in touch anytime if you just need to vent!

Hugs,

Nicole

I'm so sorry for your sorrow.  I too have great sadness, as my father has metastisized kidney cancer, with a very poor prognosis.  Your whole world does turn upside down.  The best advice I can give you is to never lose hope.  Don't ever let anyone take it away from you--even if your parent is told to "get their affairs in order".  One of the first books I read when my father was diagosed was, "There's No Place Like Hope".  It's true.  I try to be optimistic, while still being realistic, when I'm with my father.  I try to enjoy every minute I have with him, and help him try to enjoy every minute he has with me.  I help him to learn about his condition and treatment options--this can be empowering, and not just depressing.  We try to have pleanty of time during the day where we enjoy the small things in life: going for a walk, talking about life, and lots and lots of hugs and "I love you's."  I've read over and over that having a positive attitude is an important component to survival.  I try to be thankful for the time that I have had with my father--and I try to be thankful for the oportunity to have become so close to him.  There are so many, after all, that never have the oportunity to become close to their parent--and others who may never even know one of their parents.  That parent has enriched your life--they have molded and shaped you into the person you have become--they have taught you to love.

It may not be likely that one will get a miracle, but they do happen.  I know I'll never stop asking for one.  There is always hope.

hello im new to this board, but i had to reply. this february my mom died from throat/lung cancer from smoking. this is by far the hardest thing that ive ever been through. she fought this terrible disease for almost a yr. for those of you that have cancer please stay strong and never give up and for those of you that have a loved one going through this always be there for them because this is such a critical time for them. during my mother illness she was in a lot of pain but she ALWAYS stayed strong! My mom was an amazing woman that raised me to be just like her strong and to never give up on anything in life...  

 

On 2/23/2007 Very Sad Daughter wrote:

My dad is being such a trooper, but I know he is scared and depressed. He cries and tells us he is sorry. I told him to never ever apologize for crying....... I on the other hand cannot grasp this news and not to mention my whole life turning upside down. Help me...carlee

Hi I too am a very sad daughter. My dad had a whipple in March and it is gut wrenching to watch someone you love go from a 68 yr.old man to an 80 year old who never smoked, drank or abused his body. I feel your pain, the hardest part is feeling so helpless and powerless.Greif goes in stages, there are five stages. It helped me in identifying my feelings. I pray everyday and try to turn it over and put him in Gods Hands because it is truly up to him and God if he recovers from this. It terrifies me when I see him because he gets weaker and thinner all the time. Sometimes I feel like we are hanging on by a thread and then it passes, and he has a good day, so Hang in there. Hope I helped.

Cherylynne