My mom had developed a cough and was very tired around January of '06, but she was tough and refused to see a doctor. A couple months later, when she did see one, they told her it was probably a minor illness and they gave her medicine that didn't help. So in mid-March she had a scan done and we found out that she not only had lung cancer that had already spread, but she had a brain tumor as well. I was hurt inside when I heard, but I didn't want to show fear, and I didn't want to face the truth that my mom could die. I think that was a big mistake. My mom died July 21, 2006 of a blood clot in her leg that went straight to her heart. I was 14, and I was just entering high school, I needed her so badly. I have a dad and a brother but I don't get along with either of them, so right away I felt alone. My brother also just entered college so it's a big change. Then, on November 30, 2006, my grandma, (mom's mom), died. She was the last person who I felt could give me a hug like my mom could, and I could feel how much they both loved me. I am now 15, and my dad has brought me in to see 4 psychiatrists, but I don't like to talk to them. I try reading the bible, but I honestly have a hard time finding interest. I don't feel like talking to anyone, and I am worried that I will always feel as alone as I do now. I can tell I don't talk or smile as much as I used to, but I want to again someday. I think about my mom and grandma everyday, and how much I miss them. Sometimes I get home from school, and for some reason I yell "Mom!?" like I used to when I got home to tell her about my day. But when I hear no answer I feel worse and worse. I keep shouting out for her for several minutes sometimes. I don't understand why all this happened to me, but in some ways I feel like I deserved it, because I haven't always treated my mom with respect and showed her how much i loved her. I don't know who to turn to, and I don't know what to do with my life. I am sick of hearing that I might be depressed, because I think I'm stronger than that. I just want to feel normal again, and I want to feel comfortable again with just one person like I was with my mom. Please help. I'm lost, and I don't know what to do next.