Hi,
My father is 77 years old and was diagnosed with Melanoma 1 1/2 years ago. It started in his groin and he had a lymphadenectomy and NO chemo or radiation. He was cancer free for 1 1/2 years and then the lesions started to appear again at the site of the surgery. But ever since his diagnosis he has been waiting for it to come back again. He is very depressed and cannot deal with his imperfections since the surgery. He has constant edema in his leg and he says it has "impeded" him.
After the lesions returned, he went to a medical oncologist who ordered many tests and they found that it had metastasized to his liver. Supposedly there are only a few lesions and they started to treat him with a three month course of Thalidamide and Temador (orally). He started to become disoriented after taking the medications, but rarely got nauseous or any other side effects.
After three months of treatment most of the lesions were disappearing from his groin but the liver lesions did not change. The doctor wanted to use Taxol for his liver but my father refused because he didn't want his hair to fall out (he is very vain). So my parents decided to stop all drugs for three weeks. In that time, my father has become much more disoriented, wets himself, complains of dizzines, weakness and nausea. Also he has turned an orange color and is even urinating orange. When he finally returned to the doctor this week they said he was jaundice. He was scheduled to begin Taxol infusions, even though he didn't want them. He was very apprehensive, and become even more disoriented. The doctor decided to hold off until he got an abdominal sonogram to make sure there was no blockage, although they really don't think there is. And, they decided that Avastin is a better drug of choise anc want to start infusions next week after the sonogram. They did check his bloods and they all came back completely normal.
What I want to know is if this vast deterioration is due to cancer or mindset? I live in California, and he lives in New York. Both my parents think he is dying, although the doctor is not saying that. He believes he can help him. My sisters also think he is dying. I don't believe it, but I haven't seen him. My father is NOT in any pain or discomfort. He is not taking a drugs except Lexapril (which I don't think is a high enough dosage) and Namenda.
Can you please shed some light on this subject. I believe that if my father was in such bad shape, the doctor would say, and he would be in pain or something. Organs would be failing, some other symptoms would occur. I am a firm believer in mind of matter. My father is very stubborn, and very angry. I believe that he wants to die. I believe that he has given up and he cannot deal with the diagnosis of cancer. He doesn't want to lose his hair and he doesn't want anyone to see him like this, most especially himself. He gets sick, physically sick, when he looks in the mirror.
Can you help answer my questions? Is this really a man who is dying from cancer or from the diagnosis of cancer?