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Helpless Seeking Hope

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Subject: Helpless seeking hope
Date: 04/23/2007

I watching my father die and I can't handle it. He is only 56 and has cancer in both his lungs, his liver and spine. He was just diagnosed in February and they tried treatment but had to stop because his body couldn't handle it. He is fading so fast it unbearable. Every week he get skinnier and weaker. They keep trying to strengthen his pain medicine and now he's on morphine because it hurts so bad. Yesterday my parents bought his casket and vault so my mom wouldn't have to worry about it. I can't believe there's nothing left we can do - I am so angry. My mom....she is 53 and trying to be strong too but it's so hard for her. He is the love of her life and she doesn't want to live without him. My children are young, my daughter is only 8 months old. I wanted her to have her own memories. He was given 2-4 months and we are just hoping we get that long with him. Right now it seems like we are on borrowed time. My heart aches so bad - I can't sleep, My only peace is researching all night about new ways of fighting cancer but I am running out of time.

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