On 5/16/2007 Brandon-cg wrote:
Hi, I am 34, my wife 32 was diagnosed with a brain tumor in February of this year. We have been through a lot, still going through quite a bit. While she is doing quite well with radiation and chemotherapy treatments, this has totally turned our worlds inside out. I am exhausted by it all. I have no alone time for myself, its been work, then home to take care of all the normal things 2 people might share. Plus, I get so little space to myself because my wife is always at home now resting most of the time. She is also understandably more emotionally needy. Believe me, I have been doing everything I should and can do for her, for the situation as a whole. Ive tried excepting help when offered, I have talked to my doctor who gave me Ativan to take at night to help me relax and fall asleep. To be careful I don't get addicted, I cut my pills in half, taking only 1-mg per night. I usually sleep well but I still feel exhausted. My doctor said that therapy really wouldn't help me because there is no fixable problem with all of this, its just something that I have to cope the best I can with. Im not so sure and Im wondering if anyone has any insight on this. Has anyone had some talk therapy, counciling, etc....? My guy friends are not much help, and to be honest neither is my family. They all mean well, but I have some real monkeys on my back that I need to talk about. Anyone else?
Hi, I am a cancer survivor of 61/2 years. I am actually going to talk to a divorce attorney next week, as my husband has so gone off the rails. After my diagnosis, he decided "I wasn't interested," so he started finding other partners. Tried to do this is 2003, but drs. thought my cancer had come back(thank God they were wrong!) My point is that the only way I could get through all this crazy stuff was to write in a journal. Is there a support group for caregivers at the hospital your wife goes to? Yes, "it's not fixable," but your feelings are valid and your burden is heavy. The American Cancer Society might have some resources. If your wife goes to the Cancer centers of America, ask there if they know of any support groups. I saw a Christan councelor for 6 sessions to get the courage to deal with my life. Just because your doctor says therapy wouldn't help doesn't make it so. He/she may not realize that sometimes people just need better coping skills, even if problems "can't be fixed". Good luck. Just realize you're not the only one going through all this. Maybe you might find others in your boat just be taling to others wating for appointments with spouces. Your wife is awfully lucky that you are there for her. You need to help yourself to keep being strong for her. good Luck! Hang in there!