Very sad to hear of your wife's illness. I, too, am a caregiver. My mother in law has pancreatic cancer (inoperable, she's in the end stages). Like you, I've felt the stress of caring for someone who is very ill. My mother in law lives with me & my family. Her son, my husband, is helpful but, much like your buddies, pretty useless when it comes to lending me a hand with his mother. As the mother in law is not very lucid or strong, she needs to be watched 24/7. So I'm stuck here, a prisoner in my own home. I feel your pain, as it were, and would be glad to swap sob stories with you. Best of luck to you & your wife- she's lucky to have you.