On 5/16/2007 Brandon-cg wrote:
Hi, I am 34, my wife 32 was diagnosed with a brain tumor in February of this year. We have been through a lot, still going through quite a bit. While she is doing quite well with radiation and chemotherapy treatments, this has totally turned our worlds inside out. I am exhausted by it all. I have no alone time for myself, its been work, then home to take care of all the normal things 2 people might share. Plus, I get so little space to myself because my wife is always at home now resting most of the time. She is also understandably more emotionally needy. Believe me, I have been doing everything I should and can do for her, for the situation as a whole. Ive tried excepting help when offered, I have talked to my doctor who gave me Ativan to take at night to help me relax and fall asleep. To be careful I don't get addicted, I cut my pills in half, taking only 1-mg per night. I usually sleep well but I still feel exhausted. My doctor said that therapy really wouldn't help me because there is no fixable problem with all of this, its just something that I have to cope the best I can with. Im not so sure and Im wondering if anyone has any insight on this. Has anyone had some talk therapy, counciling, etc....? My guy friends are not much help, and to be honest neither is my family. They all mean well, but I have some real monkeys on my back that I need to talk about. Anyone else?
Hi, I too am sorry to hear about your situation but hang in there! I was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer at age 33 been through everything. I am also a nurse and I facilitate a support group for breast cancer survivors but because of the need of the spouses I am starting one in July for caregivers. First of all I want to commend you on your dedication and your support you give to your wife, we as survivors, truly appreciate what you do for us but sometimes we are just too sick and exhausted from fighting our illness. It is actually harder for you because you are helpless you can't fix it, and you lost your partner, temporarily, and it's frustrating and as you describe exhausting too. Ask family and friends to help they too want to help but don't know how to so give them direction they will be receptive you'll see and it will give you a much needed break. Take time for yourself a walk, a drive whatever you enjoy to do, and please don't feel quilty for living your life too survivors don't want to be a burden and if you are still having fun and doing your thing your wife will feel like she hasn't destroyed your life. I could go on and on but what I will do is pray for you and your family and best wishes throughout your journey. God Bless, Leslie