My boyfriend has RCC and there is NO cure so maybe things are a little different for us,but as his caretaker I have come to realize that no matter what I want him to do the decision is his and because I love him I have to deal with his decisions on my own and in my own way. I think you should just let him deal with it whatever way he wants to at least for now. It may be helpful to you if you can get him to tell you what type of cancer he has so that way you can educate yourself, for yourself so you at least know what he/you are up against, that may help you to feel better. He may also be keeping things from you because he loves you and doesn't want to drag you into the hurt of it all. Like I said you kind of have to let him deal with things the way he wants to, and remember that it's his body that is going through all of these changes. I totally understand how you feel but when it comes to cancer it has to be on his terms. Cancer sucks for everyone involved but he's gotta do it his way it's not up to you unfortunately.