Hi, i need to get this out of my system.
My Mum has been in hospital the last 2 weeks, with what we thought was gallstones. I found out on wednesday that she has Pancreatic Cancer that they cannot remove by surgery so she will be having chemo, if she decides that is what she wants to do.
I am absolutely devastated! I don't know what to do with myself, i'm an emotional wreck. People at work keep asking me how she is i can't hold it back and end up telling them everything and try not to breakdown in front of them, they are all being great but i don't want to burdon anyone with it, including my boyfriend who i live with.
I know i have to be strong for my Mum, and i'm really hoping i don't burst into tears when i go and see her tomorrow. I don't what i would do if i don't have her in my life. I just want someone to tell me it's all going to be ok and that the cancer is gone, which i know won't happen.
My Dad kept it from me, i guess he was trying to protect me as i am the youngest of six. I feel so angry that this kind of thing happens to people and nothing can be done. She had been going to her doctor with vomitting and stomach pains 3 times, they just kept giving her antibiotics and then were refusing to see her the 4th time when she had started to get the Jaundice the doctor eventually agreed to see her and referred her straight to hospital. I feel angry, upset and i wish it was me and not her.